Raven's 2 Cents

It's been a while...

2006-11-14T13:21:00.000-08:00

Hello all, it has been a while. Let me fill you all in on what is up and what is new.

The wife is due on the 20th of this month, so we are going to be partents soon, yay! I can but hardly wait to meet my daughter, and see her face for the first time.

The new job is going well. I'm through both hospital and unit orientation. I worked all on my own as the single tech on the unit for the first time yesterday. The day went well. I completed all the tasks I needed to, plus jumped right in with goal setting. Like anything, I think that I am picking things up quickly. I have to say that I am much happier too. I don't go home angry like I used to, sorry wolf, but I sure as hell don't miss the old job. I mis some of the people I worked with, but I really don't miss the customers.

School is going well. I have passed one of my classes with a B, I will finish another one shortly with an A, and the other will take some time to know, but I expect at least a B in it as well. Clinicals are going well. I passed my first set of clinicals with flying colors, and I'm on track to do the same this time around as well. I have received a lot of praise as of late, I think that I will be a good nurse when all is said and done.

The wife is working to finish off her classes before the baby arrives, and she is doing well in them.

Aside from that, not a lot is happening. This weekend is one of the rare instances of having time off. I'm looking forward to getting stuff done at the house, going to a party, and possibly gaming.

Oh, I almost forgot, we got hit by a deer last night. It broke the driver's side passenger door window, and the triangle window next to that. There are a couple new dents, and the trim pieces around the window a FUBARed as well. The inside door panel came loose a little too. We have a high deductible, and the damage isn't that extensive, so this one will be 100% out of pocket - that sucks. So, if anyone knows where I can get glass and trim work done on the cheap, let me know.

Lasts

2006-10-26T07:55:00.000-07:00

I'm in the last two hours of my next to last day, so that means the Firday will be my last day!

I'm glad to be leaving. Looking forward to the next job - though I think of it as a career more than I ever did with Tri-Tech. Today, it is as if a weight has been lifted off of me.

Friday night, I will be free from the bonds of Tri-Tech.

This is a change in plans as some of you know. I had planned on making the last day of the month my last day, however I will need to complete a hospital orientation before I can orientate on the unit that I will be working on. Hospital orientation starts next monday, and runs through Wednesday. Then I start orientating on the unit, and I wil get a few days of that before I'm on my own.

I can't wait to take my last call. I've cleared off my desk, and cleared out my computer, Friday night I turn in my key, happy with the thought of never returning.

JJ's BIG Secret Revealed!

2006-10-09T13:56:00.000-07:00

SPOILER ALERT!

Some, possibly all of you know that I, for the most part, kept a big secret over the weekend.

The news is: I got a different job! Yipeeeee!

Details:
I will be working in the Summit Unit at The Finley Hospital. This is the same unit that the wife works in, though we will not work together directly after I am trained. We will almost always work opposite shifts. It is a step down in pay, but it allows us to dodge the daycare bullet - the main reason for my leaving now (we figured monthly daycare costst to be between $400 -700 a month). One of us should be home to take care of baby most of the time. Our daycare needs will be greatly reduced by how this will be worked out between us (we will be able to basically make our schedule since we are the two daytime techs/CNAs). This will also give me more time for my classes, as full time is 36 hours over there instead of the 40 where I am at now. It isn't much of a change, but it is a big deal if you consider that some of my hours will come on weekends, giving me weekdays off to go to class and work on homework. I will also be able to earn overtime from time to time, another benefit. As an added benefit, I will not have to talk to any of the customers that I dislike again. My projected last day is 10/31/2006.

Hooooooraaaaaaay!

Life

2006-09-20T10:53:00.000-07:00

So it has been a while since I was on here, I thought I would drop you all a line.

Work... is work. Nothing new to report there. I work on the manual from time to time, which is becomming more and more frustrating. I update one part of, move on to something else, then in a couple of weeks there have been a ton of changes on the part of the system I just worked on. The company seiously needs a full time tech writer, with the experience in the program that I or Bill or Mike have. Since the other two are managers, they should just let me have that, and hire someone to replace me on the phone. Works for me.

School... is busy. I have class Tuesday's, Wednesday's, Thursday's and Saturday's. Starting this weekend, I have clinical time on Saturday's and Sunday's. I have at least one test a week, and at least one assignment a week - and that is just the nursing class. I also have sociology, and I really can't stand my teacher. He thinks he is teaching political science. What is more, he doesn't even attempt to veil his political alignment. He is very extreme in his leaning too. I consider myself a moderate anymore and I just can't relate to this guy. I signed on for a class on sociology, and while politics makes up a part of that topic, the conversations that we have in class would lead one to believe that we were final year political science majors. Our final project involves discussing the national budget, and reallocating resources in a way to address national concerns over healthcare, education, etc... This is not entry level class work. I so mentioned, feeling strength in having been to school before, and having studied education. He said: "if you don't like it, you can leave and I'll sign your papers to get out." I'm not sure where to go with it at this point, I'm open to suggestions. I'm thinking about going to the dean, I just don't want to stir up a bunch of crap in a class that I have to take because it is a requirement for the stupid degree.

Robeta is doing well, we are eagerly anticipating the arrival of Ceceilia. We recently had satelite tv hooked up, so we're partially out of the technical stone age as some have refered to it as. I'm looking at you squared for internet, but there are some serious hang ups for me. They don't have a trial period, they make you sign a two year contract, their support is expensive, their service is expensive, and I have heard either great things about it or horrible things about it. We shall see. Maybe in the new year we will get internet out there.

This Morning....

2006-08-16T06:52:00.000-07:00

This morning the wife and I went to our 26 week ultrasound. Baby is doing well, moving around a lot. The big news, we found out our baby's gender - IT'S A GIRL! :-) It is what the wife has wanted all along. I personally never had a preference, I played the devils advocate for a long time though, since the wife had such a strong opinion. Anyway, we're both really really happy to finally know. Now we all need your help and suggestions on a middle name. It needs to fit nicely between Cecilia and our last name.

School Update

2006-08-14T11:19:00.000-07:00

A while back I said I was having trouble getting financial aid for classes this fall. Well basically at the last minute everything fell exactly into place like it needed to. Both weird and awesome. I will be in the nursing program this fall, and I will not have to put anything off. All very good things. YAY!

Watch Out For The Idiots Of The Right

2006-08-04T11:52:00.000-07:00

This photo on the cover of a free magazine sent to young mothers stirs up an uproar among the religios right retards, read the article below for more details.

What could be more natural, and to some truely informative, I can't stop thinking that the religious right of this country are driving toward another dark age.

I personally applaud this publication, they have my full support. I can't believe that this is even an issue, these idiots have obviously never picked up a national geographic. These are the same dumb asses that would rather burn books than learn from them.

This may come as quite asuprise to some, but I'm personally tired of the right wing social fascists that seem to think that they can drive this damned country of ours to their own little heaven, making it a personal hell for the rest of us.

WASHINGTON (AFP) - Readers of a US parenting magazine are crying foul over the publication's latest cover depicting a woman breastfeeding, with some calling the photo offensive and disgusting.
"I was SHOCKED to see a giant breast on the cover of your magazine," one woman from Kansas wrote in reaction to the picture in Babytalk, a free magazine that caters to young mothers. "I was offended and it made my husband very uncomfortable when I left the magazine on the coffee table."
Her reaction was part of some 5,000 letters the magazine has received in response to a poll to gage reader sentiment about Babytalk's August cover photo, which shows a baby nursing.
Several readers said they were "embarrassed" or "offended" by the Babytalk photo and one woman from Nevada said she "immediately turned the magazine face down" when she saw the photo.
"Gross, I am sick of seeing a baby attached to a boob," the mother of a four-month-old said.
Another reader said she was "horrified" when she received the magazine and hoped that her husband hadn't laid eyes on it.
"I had to rip off the cover since I didn't want it laying around the house," she said.
A national television program also ran a segment on the controversy, interviewing several people in New York who expressed disgust over the cover photo.
The picture in Babytalk was aimed at illustrating the controversy surrounding breastfeeding in the United States, where a national survey by the American Dietetic Association found that 57 percent of those polled are opposed to women breastfeeding in public and 72 percent think it is inappropriate to show a woman breastfeeding on television programs.
Babytalk executive editor Lisa Moran said though most of those who responded to the poll about the cover photo gave the magazine a thumbs up, she was surprised that some 25 percent expressed outrage.
"There is a real puritanical streak in America," Moran told AFP. "You see celebrities practically baring their breasts all the time and no one seems to mind in this sort of sexual context.
"But in this very natural context of feeding your child, a lot of Americans are very uncomfortable with it."
She said the controversy is all the more surprising in light of concerted efforts by the US government and health professionals to encourage women to breastfeed.
"Everyone is saying that breastfeeding is best for baby but there is so little support for it in public," Moran said.
She said the Babytalk cover photo marks the first time a major parenting magazine in the United States dares to break the taboo about showing a woman's breast and the outrage it has prompted is not about to discourage editors from doing it again.
"This hasn't scared us off at all," Moran said. "We're thrilled and hopefully this will help women get more support for nursing."

On the Brink of Excitement

2006-08-02T08:39:00.000-07:00

There is possible good, great, awesome, fantastic news in my near future!

I'm really excited about the possibilities that this news may bring.

So excited, it feels as though I am at times holding my breath.

The anticipation is mounting with every moment that passes.

As soon as something more concrete comes along, I'll post it here - everyone wish me luck!

I Just Can't Help But Shake My Head...

2006-07-27T14:11:00.000-07:00

Thankfully my give a damn is fully busted, otherwise the following might have cause my head to spin as I spewed forth a creamy split pea soup looking substance while deeply growling the glory of the dark lord.

It is official, Tri-Tech's sales department is the place you end up when you can't cut it in support. The guy that most of us have complained about for the better part of two years now is leaving support for sales. They keep awarding Brillo with chance after chance, and I just don't know why.

Hopefully they find someone competent to replace him.

Secret Uncovered!

2006-07-24T12:39:00.000-07:00

I found the secret to being happy (well at least not to the point of wanting to hurt myself or others) while at work! This is a big deal to me, BIG, one could go as far as too say Huge!

The secret is to not give a damn about anything. I guess I broke my giveadam! :) AND IT IS GREAT!

Last week I decided that I will quit this job, and find a new job; and that I will be doing this in short order. It is as though the proverbial weight has been lifted from atop my shoulders. I for the most part have been in light and good spirits almost all day. There are still all kinds of bad things here, but at the point where I start to care I stop and say - WAIT, it will all be over soon; and this happy little thought leads me away on a pillowy cloud of glee.

No, I'm not stoned, crocked, drunk or any other form of impaired - I finally found what it is they are talking about in office space - my inner I Don't give a Damn! YEA! YIPEE!

I just thought that I would share, good tithings all!

Taking the Long Cut

2006-07-18T06:03:00.000-07:00

Well, reality woke up and slapped me around a bit this last weekend.

I recieved the Tuition bill for the wife's classes. She is only taking 7 credits, totaling about $875. We did the four even payments plan, so we're good with that, but the action of doing that made me realize that the 12 credits (about $1500 + books + uniforms + supplies specific to the nursing program) I would need to pay for my classes for this fall just isn't going to be able to happen.

As this is the case, I will have to put on hold my progression into the nursing program - bummer. This doesn't mean that I will not be taking classes, it just means that it is going to take me longer to finish. I need some other classes yet. I had planned on just taking them with the program. I need to take Microbiology & Lab, a sociology class, and Medical Terminology. I might also take a psych class as well. I'm a bit depressed about this developement, however it is a reality that I need and have to face. They dumped me into the program in late April, and expected me to scramble to be ready to go this fall. I pretty much was, financial aid is the keystone to it all, and that is what is missing.

By proxy, this means that I will need to maintain my current work. I will continue to do so until shortly after baby is born. After that point, I will fully take advantage and work as a CNA on a night shift somewhere, to aid in avoiding daycare costs as much as possible. Plus, I want to be the one to raise my children, not some nanny or daycare provider. I also want to be different than my father: I want to be home, around for them, there when needed - as much as possible.

In the mean time, if I can, I will take up a second job as a CNA, to get us ahead, and to get things ready for the program next year. I will be able to gain invaluable, real world, hands on experience. It will be well worth the time to gain this experience, and the money will certainly not hurt.

This may be a blessing in disguise. With a baby on the way, with the wife finishing her associates degree, and with everything else, this may be the smart move. Life will not suffer too much delaying finishing the program by one year.

Things are good otherwise. The wife and I are pretty happy with where we are in life. We both are eagerly awaiting the new addittion to our family.

Baby!

2006-06-13T05:57:00.000-07:00

Here are some pics of the little one. Enjoy!

Revisiting an Interesting Topic, This Time From The Other Side

2006-05-25T14:01:00.000-07:00

ATLANTA - Working with illegal immigrants every day in a suburban Atlanta bank, Carlos Carbonell knows exactly where to go to buy a fake green card for his wife. Sometimes he thinks it would be much easier.

His wife, Valentina, has been stuck in their native Caracas, Venezuela, for four years because of backlogs in processing her green card application.

Carbonell believes in reforming U.S. immigration policy, but he and other legal immigrants who have been playing by the rules feel forgotten in the debate over possible amnesty for most of the estimated 12 million immigrants here illegally.

"They are putting as a priority illegal immigration, and legal immigrants are left out of the loop. It's the curse of doing things right," he said. "They think that the legal ones can wait — hey!"
Even though they have loyalty to their immigrant origins, many legal immigrants also feel a twinge of resentment toward others who have broken the law, and they fear illegal migrants could complicate their own quest for citizenship.

Will the already backlogged system gridlock because of a surge in applications from illegal immigrants? Will those who jumped the Rio Grande jump in the line ahead of those who have spent an average of $10,000 and five years waiting to be granted permanent residency? Will legal immigrants feel the backlash from those who resent immigration without making status distinctions?

Commuting to his home in suburban Bethesda, Md., Francisco Gonzalez passes scores of busy Latino construction workers, most likely illegal immigrants from his native Mexico. To the 36-year-old Latin American studies professor at Johns Hopkins University in Washington, those immigrants' presence is at once a humanitarian crisis to solve and a real threat to his own ability to stay in the country.

"Our morals are on the side of the illegals. The paradox is that if they're legalized, the line of 8 millions will become 20 millions, and the green card, they're going to give it to me when I'm ready to retire," Gonzalez said.

Depending on where applicants are from and whether they seek green cards based on employment, family or asylum, the wait can last more than a decade for the document, which allows an immigrant to stay in the U.S. permanently.

As of March, more than 754,000 green card applications were pending, including more than 180,000 that had been in process for more than six months and others that have been "shelved" because no visas are available for that category, according to U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services spokesman Chris Bentley.

Despite President Bush's reassurance that illegal immigrants applying for citizenship would "have to wait in line behind" the legal ones, many immigrants worry that lawmakers will favor those who have more political clout.

Gonzalez and his British wife, who teaches at Johns Hopkins University, are expecting their first child in September. Both want green cards. Gonzalez has to renew his temporary visa every year and is always terrified he will not be allowed to stay.

Many immigrants, knowing firsthand how difficult and expensive the immigration process is, see it as unrealistic for unskilled, uneducated workers. This "class bias" pushes many unskilled workers to come illegally, said Louis DeSipio, a professor at the University of California, Irvine.

But the expense and uncertainty of the system also threaten many highly qualified professionals, spurring high-tech companies, universities and attorneys to lobby for a cheaper, quicker legal immigration system, lest the U.S. lose its global competitive edge.

"Every CEO needs to contact their elected representatives and say we need more visas or a workable guest-worker program," said Anton Mertens, an Atlanta immigration attorney who immigrated from Belgium and represents employers from across the country.

A small but vocal group of Latin American and other immigrants want to restrict all immigration, including many of the provisions that allowed them or their parents to move to the U.S.

"We should reduce legal immigration to the level so it's not a strain on energy and the infrastructure. Why shouldn't China take care of the Chinese?" said Ling-Ling Yeh, a Chinese woman who immigrated to the U.S. in 1980 and later founded the Oakland, Calif.-based Diversity Alliance for a Sustainable America.

Lupe Moreno's father came from Mexico during a World War II guest-worker program, but she now resents being surrounded by Spanish-speaking Latino immigrants in her Santa Ana, Calif., neighborhood. She founded a group called Latino-Americans for Immigration Reform.
"We've been more than generous with everybody. Now we need to take control," she said.

Update from the Last Post

2006-05-15T05:31:00.000-07:00

Well, the tests have been taken.

The Anatomy and Physiology Lecture tests went well, well enough that I ended with an A.

The Pharmacology test could have been better, I end up with a B or a B+.

The Anatomy and Physiology Lab class I hated from begining to end. The only good thing about the final was that it was the last of the class. Going in, I needed 12 - 22 points on the final to pass the class. I'm sure I got them. The final had a lot of material that we had never gone over before. That and there were a lot more detail items than there were even gone over during the entire semester(things like this little bump on the bottom of your skull). I'm relatively certain I did well on the test, well enough to pass - but I still hate it. The teacher was such a waste. We did nothing in that class, he was a jerk to the students - grr, glad it is over, hopefully it really is.

For those of you not in the know, in the nursing program, you must earn a C- or better to pass a class. I believe this to be acceptable. However, in the nursing program, they change the grading scale. Instead of 90% being the last of the A's, 80% being the last of the B's, and so on, the scale has a greater angle of decline. A 94% is the lowest A, a93% is an A-, a 91-92% is a B+, 87 -90% is a B, 84-86 is a B-, 83% is a C+, 80-82% is a C, 78-79% is a C-. Combine that with classes that earn only a few hundred points (the lab class was worth only 400 points, 200 points each half) and you can begin to see how easily one can rapidly slip through a few grades. This was my case in mid April.

As for TKD, we tested, and aside from a couple very tiny little bobles, I believe that we did well. We will get our results in a couple of weeks.

AAUUURRRRGGGGGHHHH!

2006-05-03T08:48:00.000-07:00

FINALS!

Man I have so much to do in the last two weeks of school.

In Anatomy and Physiology 2 - I have 3 tests in two weeks - 1 being the final.

In A&PLab 2 - I have 3 assignments, 2 quizes, and the final.

In Pharmacology, I have one assignment and the final.

In Tae Kwon Do, I have a Testing.

After all of that, I start my Summer classes right away.

Dear lord.

Culture

2006-05-02T12:27:00.000-07:00

How do we define culture? A search on google provides the following examples:

1- a particular society at a particular time and place
2- the tastes in art and manners that are favored by a social group
3- the attitudes and behavior that are characteristic of a particular social group

Literally speaking, culture is derived from the Latin colo, -ere, with its root meaning "to cultivate", generally refers to patterns of human activity and the symbolic structures that give such activity significance. Different definitions of "culture" reflect different theoretical bases for understanding, or criteria for evaluating, human activity. Anthropologists most commonly use the term "culture" to refer to the universal human capacity to classify, codify and communicate their experiences symbolically - this according to Wikipedia.

So, where am I going with this?

In recent discussions, the terms "psuedoculture", "perceived culture", or "borrowed culture" have come up a number of times regarding the culture of America. I have to say, I take issue with this stance regarding the culture of America. These terms would to me indicate that the standard by which a culture is measured is time and/or originality. If this is so, how long must a culture endure before it can be called it's own? A good question I believe. If it must be origional, how can any civilation past those of the Tigris and Euphrates river deltas (the generally excepted birthplace of modern civilization) be considered origional? Another good question.

As a society, within the bounds of the existing government, we Americans have been together since 1776. Prior to that, we coexisted for some time before taking up arms together.

As Americans, we celebrate several holidays, the following our own - The July Fourth, Veterans Day, President's Day, Labor Day, Memorial Day and Thanksgiving holidays - just to name a few. We as Americans also celebrate a few heritage specific holidays as well - St. Patrick's Day for example. Lastly we celebrate international, Judeo-Christian holdiays like Easter and Christmas; as well international secular holidays like New Years Eve, Armistice Day, VE and VJ days.

As a society, we have much that we can claim as our own, and much that we can take pride in. Equally, we have our week points, moments and events. Together we have triumphed, and faced defeat. Together we have celebrated and mourned - and we have done all of this for some time now.

Have we not yet reached a point to which we can call what we have our culture?

Daily you can read articles about the "American Pop Culture" effects other country's and their populations. China has a TV show much like American idol, and France has inacted laws to protect it's language. Coca-cola and Pepsi are international businesses, as well as other brands and companies like McDonalds, Levi jeans, Budweiser, Coors, IBM, Microsoft, Apple just to name a tiny percentage.

You hear stores about "Baywatch" being one of the most viewed programs internationally (it was during it's height), and movies like "Titanic" breaking movie box office amounts internationally. Pop, Rock and Rap start going on international tours, and have albums go platinum in other countries. Or artists comming to America to get their start here.

Indeed, the American Dollar is used in more than just America. Countries like Ecuador have switched to US Dollar standards due to it's stability. The Dollar is used as a financial rule of measure in global economy.

Is this not yet enough for us to have our own culture?

If not, I beg that someone set me straight. What of our culture is false, what is wrongly perceived. I'll submit that much is borrowed, but I claim that borrowing is true of most all of the other cultures.

I have lived her since birth, it is the only culture that I know. I do take offense to it being called fake or wrongly perceived.

A Little Heart Beat

2006-04-26T10:36:00.000-07:00

Today the wife and I had our first OB appointment. Everything seems to be going well at this point. But the best part - we got to hear our baby's heart beat for the first time today! We are both so excited, it is unbelievable!

Immigration

2006-04-26T10:04:00.000-07:00

Let me start by saying there is a fair way, and a not fair way to immigrate to America. Let me also say, that unless you are of indigenous indian descent, that your family at one time or another immigrated to the U.S. Lastly, let me also indicate that I believe in the right to immigrate to America, so long as it is done RIGHTLY and FAIRLY.

My family came to America from Ireland eight generations ago on my mothers side, on my fathers side it was only six generations ago. Each went through due process to earn citizenship. Each struggled to learn the customs and the language (Yes, those first generationers did not know English as you might expect, they spoke Gaelic, or Queens English). Due to circumstances in their lives, some brought with them wealth, others worked hard for what little they had.

I do not believe myself to be a bigot, when I ask for this effort in the comming generations of immigrants. A lot can be said for one who tries, for those who never give it a moments thought though, that bothers me deeply. Keeping with your heritage is important, but so is being a useful, productive member to society, especially one to which you are new.

It seems like a slap in the face to - in an instant, make so many illeagle immigrants leagle citizens, after so many immigrants have fought their way through the process to earn their status as leagle citizens. After so many have earned it, how can those that have it granted to them, much like a genie grants a wish, look an immigrant who earned it in the face? The thought baffels me.

This idea of boycotting because there is an unwillingness to mearly grant citizenship to so many, puzzels me. What if all of the immigrants that earned and faught their way through the process boycotted the potential grantees?

I feel torn on the issue. I can understand wanting to be here. But I also understand that there is a right way to do things. In school those that cut to the front of the line are punished, what message are we sending here?

Lastly, as far as a boycott goes - boycott a nation that asks you for english or espanol on nearly every answering service or phone guide. Boycott a nation that has espanol on every ATM. Boycott a nation where you can get espanol subtitles on much of network tv, and offers espanol only stations. Boycott a nation that teaches it's students Spanish far more than any foreign language. There are other examples, this nation has bent over backwards in some ways to accomodate spanish speaking immigrants. Let me just say that wasn't the case when the flood of Irish got here during the potato famine. Nor when any other ethnic group arrived in mass. Let's keep that in mind that none of those groups mearly had their citizenship granted to them.

If you want it, and you earn it, I appluad and welcome you. If you are here for a hand out, don't wonder why so many are upset.

Me + Angry Tree + Chainsaw = Sunday afternoon

2006-04-24T09:12:00.001-07:00

My weekend was interesting.

Friday I stopped after school and picked up a riding lawn mower from my best friend's dad's place. I grabbed some other yard equipment while there. I invited him over, and we ate at the local restaurant in Balltown - Breitbach's. Afterward we watched the new King Kong. Wow that is a long movie.

Of these things, of note are the following thoughts: 1) Pharmacology is boring, even though it shouldn't be; 2) $50 for a riding lawn mower is teh awesome; 3) Netflicks is teh awesome.

Saturday Roberta had the day off. So we had a weekend day together, an all too rare event in my estimation. We took advantage of the great weather, and the time together. She got her hair done, we ran errands together. We bought some weights, and some other stuff for the house. That afternoon, she took a knap while I cut the grass at *our* house, it was great. It was not nearly the chore that I used to dread as a child - though I believe it to be very different when it is your ground that you are maintaining. Afterward, we called the wolf, agreed to go over to his house. We picked up more weight equipment, and went out to eat.

Of these things, of note are the following thoughts: 1) Cutting the grass on a riding mower is actually fun, especially when it is your yard; 2) Weights at home will be great, we will be able to give up our Y Membership this year since I only use it for one class, and use of the weights and machines; 3) Dear lord Gas is expensive!

Sunday, Roberta had to work, or so we thought. She went in at the usual time, but got sent home early. On the way home, she paid off a layaway of some needed bike accessories. When she arrived, we went on an hour and a half long bike ride covering some 10-12 miles. We rode from our home to about half way to Holy Cross. It was beautiful. We had lunch at Breitbach's, played some chess, then got into some yard work. Here is where the weekend gets really interesting. I prepared the chainsaw to trim some low hanging branches from some trees - to have more useable yard area, and to be able to mow easier. One such branch about 3 inches in diameter was cleanly sawed off. It fell in such a way as to make the small twigs and branches act as a spring. It sprang forward as I moved to cut the next low branch. The branch hit the chainsaw. Due to the uneven groung, my left kneww was elevated. The chainsaw moved and ever so slightly brushed my leg, on the anterior plane of my left knee. The resulting injury left a 2 inch long, half inch wide half inch deep cut in the skin of my knee. This is where I proved that I would have no probelms being an EMT. I calmly turned off the chainsaw. I walked into the house. Showered to clean the wound and the surrounding tissues. Cleaned, and dressed the wound as best as I could. We went to town to get more proper dressings. Redressed the wound. Finished the night off with Austin Powers and a home made chicken dinner.

Of these things, of note are the following thoughts: 1) Even when using them safely and intelligently, accidents happen - chainsaws are dangerous and should be used with proper support of friends and family. Though I did nothing wrong, this still happened - please be careful all of you who are dear to me when using this tool; 2) I didn't go to the ER, the cut is rough and on the knee - it is basically unstitchable. The wound isn't much different than one would expect by falling off your bike onto some rough pavement. If I get tissue infection, I will seek more advanced medical attention; 3) With the coolnees and calmness that I handled the situation, I feel that I am more than adequately prepared to be an EMT both in skill and in mind set. Hopefully, future practice will be on others rather than myself.

3 days later

2006-04-14T05:39:00.000-07:00

My last post was made trying to bury an unbelievable sadness. It failed.

On Tuesday morning, I lost a very dear friend.

We talked often, many times at great length. We talked on many various topics, and it was always such a pleasure. We shared so much in the last 10+ years. She welcomed me into her home, at every chance. She trusted me with much, and with held little. She fed me, and housed me when I needed it. On occasion, advice was "put out there for me to decide to use, should I want to do so". She was happy for me when I wed, sad for me when a friend was lost. She congratulated my wife and I on our new home, and warmed our hearts with the best reaction to our new news. She was ... like a Mom to me over these years.

She was infact the Mother to the closest of my friends. He and I are eternal kindred spirits, more like brothers than friends. Close enough in resemblance to have been mistaken as such more than a few times over the years. I share his grief with this loss. I hope that our closeness works to pull us both through these tough times. I hope he leans on me, as much as I will need to lean on him.

His Father is as much like a Father to me as his Mother was a Mother to me. I hope that I am able to help him as he needs it. Together we have done more than I have with my own Father. We have worked on cars, houses, gardens, and much more. He has taught me a lot, he has been there. I hope he knows that I will be there for him.

I feel very blessed to have come to know and love this family, and to know that they care for me as they do.

We'll miss you Donna.

Big News!

2006-04-11T06:45:00.000-07:00

For all who do not know, the Wife and I have an announcement to make:

Were having a baby! The due date is November 22ish. We have our first OB appointment at the end of the month. I'll keep you posted.

A bundle of joy is on the way!

Saying Goodbye

2006-03-30T05:38:00.000-08:00

Last night it was official. We have cleaned, painted and removed all of our belongings from our old appartment in town. We are completely moved to our new house in the country. It was a little hard saying goodbye though. I personally put a lot of work into that place. I did so because I wanted to and the landlord was willing to pay for and let me do the work. I know the landlord appreciates it, I hope the future tenets do as well.

In total, there was a ton of landscaping done, the patio was cleaned up and a privacy fence was added, a roof was built over the storage area - thus making it useful, a floor was put down in the kitchen, the kitchen was painted, 3 bedrooms were painted, the bathroom was painted, and the second floor stairway was painted, a ceiling fan was added to one of the bedrooms as well. There were lots of other little things too, some because they just needed done - like new smoke detectors and a shower head, others had to be done, a door and frame were replaced because the old one had been busted down. All in all, I believe we improved the place. It still needs work, all houses do. However, it is a huge improvement from when we got it.

Goodbye 460 1/2, and good luck! We all have some great memories.

All I Can Do Is Shake My Head

2006-03-23T06:19:00.000-08:00

SAN ANTONIO, Texas (Reuters) - Texas has begun sending undercover agents into bars to arrest drinkers for being drunk, a spokeswoman for the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission said on Wednesday.

The first sting operation was conducted recently in a Dallas suburb where agents infiltrated 36 bars and arrested 30 people for public intoxication, said the commission's Carolyn Beck.
Being in a bar does not exempt one from the state laws against public drunkenness, Beck said.
The goal, she said, was to detain drunks before they leave a bar and go do something dangerous like drive a car.

"We feel that the only way we're going to get at the drunk driving problem and the problem of people hurting each other while drunk is by crackdowns like this," she said.

"There are a lot of dangerous and stupid things people do when they're intoxicated, other than get behind the wheel of a car," Beck said. "People walk out into traffic and get run over, people jump off of balconies trying to reach a swimming pool and miss."

She said the sting operations would continue throughout the state.

Dear lord, I'm glad that I don't live there, and I hope that this crap doesn't squish northward. What next? Dry counties? Blue laws? How fucking ass backwards are they down there?

And My Vacation Time is Spent

2006-03-15T07:09:00.000-08:00

Yup, 6 weeks after it refreshed, my vacation time is spent, all 10 days of it. Oh well. It was worth it. I used some of it for the closing of the house, some to go to Chicago to see "Much ado About Nothing", and the rest of it I used during the week of Spring Break. I unpacked stuff at the house, finished up some things at the appartment, etc...

This week I'm back to the grind. School again, work again, same ole same ole. During vacation, I became accustomed to getting up between 7 and 9. Now I need to be up by 6 at the latest to get here on time. I was good on Monday, about 20 minutes late on Tuesday, and only about 5 minutes late today. Today, the only reason I was late at all was for some unknown reason, a school bus sat stopped in the road with the lights and the stop sign out for 3 minutes, 3 times. My only gues was that he was waiting for students, and none appeared. I wish they would pull to the side to wait. I know the lady in front of me used the time to apply makeup, and have a three couse breakfast. The guy behind me drank a pot of coffee and smoked half a carton of cigaretts. Apparently, this is the norm that they are used to. I need to adjust my travel accordingly to miss this time sync.

Life in the country is awesome. I haven't heard a single siren since living there. I rarely see a squad car - a sherrif makes a pass twice a day from what I can tell. Around 6:30 am and around 4:30 pm. I imagine there are other times, but that is when I have seen him. I don't hear people yelling at each other, nor do I have to fight for a place to park. The neighbors are really nice, it has been a really pleasant change.

The Wife Thought Monster Bunny and ET11 Robot Would Like This One

2006-02-28T08:14:00.000-08:00

The Week Before....

2006-02-27T11:30:00.000-08:00

Vacation sucks.

As many of you know, the wife and I bought a house last week. We moved over last week and weekend. Now I'm at work, the week before vacation, with a ton of work to do at the old homestead, and the days drag by so slowly... Damn! Anywho, unpacking is going well (thanks to J&R). We hope to be done unpacking for the most part by next weekend. I just wish the days would go by faster.

Land and WHAT?!

2006-02-23T10:42:00.000-08:00

Yup, that's right...

It's official, the wife and I are homeowners...

Scary Huh?

Moving commenced Tuesday afternoon, hopefully we will do the most of it and finish it on Saturday.

We have stayed each night since signing the papers for it.

We look forward to enviting all our friends to our home.

This Will Teach 'Em...

2006-02-17T08:06:00.000-08:00

Cleric announces $1M bounty on prophet cartoonist

A Pakistani cleric announced a $1 million bounty for killing a cartoonist who drew the Prophet Muhammad caricatures, as thousands rallied across the country Friday and authorities arrested scores of protesters.

Police put another Islamist leader under house detention amid fears religious radicals would incite more deadly demonstrations after Friday prayers. Five people have been killed in Pakistan this week during protests, but most demonstrations Friday were peaceful.

In Denmark, where the prophet drawings were first published in September, the government said Friday it had temporarily closed its embassy in Pakistan following the violent protests this week.

Pakistan recalled its ambassador to Denmark for "consultations" about the caricatures, a Foreign Ministry spokeswoman said.

Mohammed Yousaf Qureshi, prayer leader at the historic Mohabat Khan mosque in the conservative northwestern city of Peshawar, announced the mosque and the Jamia Ashrafia religious school he leads would give a $25,000 reward and a car for killing the cartoonist who drew the prophet caricatures — considered blasphemous by Muslims.

He also said a local jewelers' association would give $1 million but no representative of the association was available to confirm it had made the offer.

"This is a unanimous decision of by all imams (prayer leaders) of Islam that whoever insults the prophet deserves to be killed and whoever will take this insulting man to his end, will get this prize," Qureshi told about 1,000 people outside the mosque after Friday prayers.

Qureshi did not name any cartoonist in his announcement and did not appear to be aware that 12 different people had drawn the pictures. The crowd outside the mosque burned a Danish flag and an effigy of the Danish prime minister.

The Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten first printed the prophet drawings by 12 cartoonists in September. The newspaper has since apologized to Muslims for the drawings, one of them showing Muhammad wearing a bomb-shaped turban with an ignited fuse.

Other Western newspapers, mostly in Europe but also some in the United States, have reprinted the pictures, asserting their news value and the right to freedom of expression.

The publication of the drawings set off weeks of protests across the Muslim world in which at least 19 people have been killed, most of them in Afghanistan and Pakistan.

In Islamabad, former President Clinton criticized the drawings but said Muslims wasted an opportunity to build better ties with the West by mounting violent protests.

"I can tell you most people in the United States deeply respect Islam ... and most people in Europe do," he said.

Clerics at mosques across Pakistan condemned the caricatures at Friday prayers.

"Give enough power to the Muslim countries and enable them to take revenge," said Qari Saeed Ullah, a prayer leader in Islamabad.

Thousands of demonstrators defied a ban on rallies in Punjab, one of Pakistan's four provinces. Thousands of security forces were deployed across the country to prevent unrest.

Police arrested 125 protesters for violating the ban on rallies in eastern Pakistan and 70 others after firing tear gas to disperse protests in the southern city of Karachi.

In Peshawar, where violent protests Wednesday left two dead and scores injured, police fired tear gas to disperse more than 1,000 people trying to block a street. Four effigies representing Danish, German, French and Norwegian leaders were hanged from lampposts.

Police in eastern Punjab province were ordered to restrict the movement of all religious leaders who might address rallies and to round up religious activists who could threaten law and order.

In Multan, another city in Punjab, about 300 police detained 125 protesters, who gathered at a traffic circle, chanting, "We are slaves of the prophet," and trampling on a Danish flag, police official Sharif Zafar said.

Zafar said they had violated the ban on rallies in Punjab — declared after deadly riots in Lahore on Tuesday.

Hafiz Mohammed Saeed, chief of the radical group Jamaat al-Dawat, became the first religious leader detained by authorities since protests began in Pakistan early this month. He was due to make a speech in Faisalabad, about 75 miles away.

Intelligence officials have said scores of members of Jamaat al-Dawat and assorted militant groups joined the Lahore protest Tuesday and incited the violence in a bid to undermine President Gen. Pervez Musharraf's government, a close ally of the United States.

Witnesses said about 7,000 people protested in Rawalpindi, near the capital, while about 5,000 demonstrated in the southwestern city of Quetta. There were no immediate reports of violence. About 5,000 people protested in Karachi in small-scale rallies, and 70 were arrested, said Rauf Siddiqi, the regional home minister.

Denmark's decision to close its embassy comes after the government temporarily closed its embassies in Lebanon, Syria, Iran and Indonesia last week amid anti-Danish protests and threats against staff.

"We have decided to do so because of the general security situation in the country," Foreign Ministry spokesman Lars Thuesen said of the Pakistani closure. "Our staff are still in the country but not at the embassy in Islamabad."

In India, police used batons and tear gas to disperse several thousand angry Muslims worshippers who rioted over the drawings, police said. The protesters burned Danish flags, pelted police with stones, and looted shops after Friday prayers in Hyderabad, a city of 7 million people, nearly half of them Muslim.

Thousands of Hong Kong Muslims also marched Friday to condemn the caricatures.

I Found This, and it is Just Great, and Awesome

2006-02-09T06:52:00.000-08:00

Opinion CALVIN AND HOBBES -- AND MUHAMMAD

As my regular readers know, I've long been skeptical of the "Religion of Peace" moniker for Muslims -- for at least 3,000 reasons right off the top of my head. I think the evidence is going my way this week.

The culture editor of a newspaper in Denmark suspected writers and cartoonists were engaging in self-censorship when it came to the Religion of Peace. It was subtle things, like a Danish comedian's statement, paraphrased by The New York Times, "that he had no problem urinating on the Bible but that he would not dare do the same to the Quran."

So, after verifying that his life insurance premiums were paid up, the editor expressly requested cartoons of Muhammad from every cartoonist with a Danish cartoon syndicate. Out of 40 cartoonists, only 10 accepted the invitation, most of them submitting utterly neutral drawings with no political content whatsoever.

But three cartoons made political points.

One showed Muhammad turning away suicide bombers from the gates of heaven, saying "Stop, stop -- we ran out of virgins!" -- which I believe was a commentary on Muslims' predilection for violence. Another was a cartoon of Muhammad with horns, which I believe was a commentary on Muslims' predilection for violence. The third showed Muhammad with a turban in the shape of a bomb, which I believe was an expression of post-industrial ennui in a secular -- oops, no, wait: It was more of a commentary on Muslims' predilection for violence.

In order to express their displeasure with the idea that Muslims are violent, thousands of Muslims around the world engaged in rioting, arson, mob savagery, flag-burning, murder and mayhem, among other peaceful acts of nonviolence.

Muslims are the only people who make feminists seem laid-back.

The little darlings brandish placards with typical Religion of Peace slogans, such as: "Behead Those Who Insult Islam," "Europe, you will pay, extermination is on the way" and "Butcher those who mock Islam." They warn Europe of their own impending 9/11 with signs that say: "Europe: Your 9/11 will come" -- which is ironic, because they almost had me convinced the Jews were behind the 9/11 attack.

The rioting Muslims claim they are upset because Islam prohibits any depictions of Muhammad -- though the text is ambiguous on beheadings, suicide bombings and flying planes into skyscrapers.

The belief that Islam forbids portrayals of Muhammad is recently acquired. Back when Muslims created things, rather than blowing them up, they made paintings, frescoes, miniatures and prints of Muhammad.

But apparently the Quran is like the Constitution: It's a "living document," capable of sprouting all-new provisions at will. Muslims ought to start claiming the Quran also prohibits indoor plumbing, to explain their lack of it.

Other interpretations of the Quran forbid images of humans or animals, which makes even a child's coloring book blasphemous. That's why the Taliban blew up those priceless Buddhist statues, bless their innocent, peace-loving little hearts.

Largely unnoticed in this spectacle is the blinding fact that one nation is missing from the long list of Muslim countries (by which I mean France and England) with hundreds of crazy Muslims experiencing bipolar rage over some cartoons: Iraq. Hey -- maybe this democracy thing does work! The barbaric behavior of Europe's Muslims suggests that the European welfare state may not be attracting your top-notch Muslims.

Making the rash assumption for purposes of discussion that Islam is a religion and not a car-burning cult, even a real religion can't go bossing around other people like this.

Catholics aren't short on rules, but they couldn't care less if non-Catholics use birth control.

Conservative Jews have no interest in forbidding other people from mixing meat and dairy.

Protestants don't make a peep about other people eating food off one another's plates. (Just stay away from our plates -- that's disgusting.)

But Muslims think they can issue decrees about what images can appear in newspaper cartoons.

Who do they think they are?

14 days

2006-02-07T12:08:00.000-08:00

14 Days from today, we (the wife and I) will be signing the life away on our first house together. We close 2pm, on Feb. 21st. Pictures comming soon!

This One Made Me Giggle

2006-02-01T06:13:00.000-08:00

Friends

2006-01-31T06:20:00.000-08:00

Friends are truely a priceless commodity. As such, I have come upon an epiphany as of recent. One should avoid working with friends. I find this to be more true than not. The workplace is stressful enough at times without throwing that into the mix. I can now say, with certainty, that this is a mistake that I will never repeat.

I likewise feel that filling a business with family members is also mistake to a great degree. Each situation is different, that I'll grant you. However, I firmly believe, that business is just that, and those family members you have work for you should do so because they are qualified to do so.

This Explains a lot.

2006-01-19T10:33:00.000-08:00

A new brain-scanning study suggests that when guys see a cheater get a mild electric shock, they don't feel his pain much at all. In fact, they rather enjoy it.

In contrast, women's brains showed they do empathize with the cheater's pain and don't get a kick out it.

It's not clear whether this difference in schadenfreude — enjoyment of another's misfortune — results from basic biology or sex roles learned during life, researchers say. But it could help explain why men have historically taken charge of punishing criminals and others who violate societal rules, said researcher Dr. Klaas Stephan.

Stephan, a senior research fellow at the University College London, is co-author of a study led by Tania Singer at the college and published online Wednesday by the journal Nature.
Singer, in an e-mail message, said the sex difference in results was a surprise and must be confirmed by larger studies. The researchers said women might have reacted like men if the cheater suffered psychological or financial pain instead.

The scientists scanned the brains of 16 men and 16 women after the volunteers played a game with what they thought were other volunteers, but who in fact were actors. The actors either played the game fairly or obviously cheated.

During the brain scans, each volunteer watched as the hands of a "fair" player and a cheater received a mild electrical shock. When it came to the fair-player, both men's and women's brains showed activation in pain-related areas, indicating that they empathized with that player's pain.
But for the cheater, while the women's brains still showed a response, men's brains showed virtually no specific reaction. Also, in another brain area associated with feelings of reward, men's brains showed a greater average response to the cheater's shock than to the fair player's shock, while women's brains did not.

A questionnaire revealed that the men expressed a stronger desire than women did for revenge against the cheater. The more a man said he wanted revenge, the higher his jump in the brain's reward area when the cheater got a shock. No such correlation showed up in women.

Philip Jackson, who studies brain systems responsible for empathy at the University of Laval in Quebec City in Canada, said he found the sex differences intriguing and worth following up on.

The overall results elegantly tie together "a lot of things we either knew or suspected strongly" about how social interaction can affect the brain's activity, he said.

Tired

2006-01-04T11:07:00.000-08:00

I need a break from work. I'm tired, burned out, used up, exhausted, and/or fed up. I get vacation at the begining of next month. I'll be using a little of it. I need to. The way things are going, I'm dangerously close to loosing it - the it being a lot of things, but cheif among them are: my sanity, the job iteslef, and a good friend - if things keep up the way they are.

There is just so much there at times that gets to me. The noise, the uncontrollable climate, the constant short handedness, the ever increasing workloads, and the crappy customers (they really have been going down hill, but this time of year brings out the worst and the dumbest in them).

We as a company bought TV's (at least 5 of them) and satelite dishes to run them all, instead of a door for the god damned server room, instead of plants for the cube walls, instead of something to look at on the walls, instead of....

Allow me to express how I feel:

"One Step Closer"
I cannot take this anymore
I'm saying everything I've said before
All these words they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Less I hear the less you'll say
But you'll find that out anyway
Just like before...
Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I find the answers aren't so clear
Wish I could find a way to disappear
All these thoughts they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Nothing seems to go away
Over and over again

The words in this song couldn't be more true to me some days.

IT IS FRIDAY!

2005-12-22T11:28:00.000-08:00

Well at least it is for me, due to the format chosen by management to give people a day off for the holidays because the holidays are on weekends this year. I have the Friday before Christmas, and the Monday after New Years.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

Happy Day

2005-12-21T11:30:00.000-08:00

Believe it or not, this news made me jump with joy, and brought a tear to my eye. Read and Enjoy!

WASHINGTON - The Senate blocked an attempt to open an Alaska wildlife refuge to oil drilling Wednesday, foiling an attempt by drilling backers to force the measure through Congress as part of a must-have defense spending bill.

It was a stinging defeat for Sen. Ted Stevens, R-Alaska, one of the Senate's most powerful members, who had given senators a choice to support the Alaska drilling measure, or risk the political fallout of voting against money for American troops and for victims of Hurricane Katrina.

Democrats accused Stevens, the senior Republican in the Senate, of holding the defense bill hostage to drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.

"It took a lot of guts for a lot of people to stand up," Sen. Joe Lieberman' name, D-Conn., said after the vote.

Republican leaders fell four votes short of getting the required 60 votes to avoid a threatened filibuster of the defense measure over the oil drilling issue. The vote prompted GOP leaders to huddle in private over their next move.

The vote that was 56-44.

Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist for procedural reasons cast a vote with ANWR opponents, so that he might be able to resurrect the issue for another try. But Democrats said they expected the defense bill to be withdrawn and reworked without the Arctic refuge provision.
The 43 senators who voted against refuge drilling — all but four Democrats as well as GOP Sens. Mike DeWine of Ohio and Lincoln Chafee of Rhode Island — "are intent and unyielding" and not expected to budge should Frist try for another vote, said Lieberman. Stevens called the refuge's oil vital to national security and bemoaned repeated attempts over the years by opponents using the filibuster to kill drilling proposals.

Democrats, conversely, accused Stevens of holding hostage a military spending bill that includes money to support troops in Iraq' name and $29 billion for victims of Hurricane Katrina.

"Our military is being held hostage by this issue, Arctic drilling," fumed Sen. Harry Reid, the Democratic leader. The Nevada Democrat said the Senate could move quickly to pass the defense bill once the refuge issue was resolved.

"We all agree we want money for our troops. ... This is not about the troops," said Sen. John Kerry' name, D-Mass., a strong critic of disturbing the refuge in northeastern Alaska by oil development.

During the vote, Stevens, 82, who had fought to open the refuge to drilling since 1980 and is the most senior Republican in the Senate, sat unsmiling in a chair midway back in the chamber, watching his colleagues vote. When it became apparent that he had lost, he briefly talked with Frist, presumably over what move should be taken next. He briefly shook his head, a signal of his disappointment.

"We need ... to open up the small area of the coastal plain (of the refuge) for oil exploration and development," said Sen. Lisa Murkowski, R-Alaska. She called making the oil available a matter of national security by reducing U.S. reliance on oil imports.

Senators determined to protect the refuge from development found it difficult to oppose the politically popular defense bill, which has money for troops in Iraq, relief for Katrina hurricane victims and help for low-income families to pay energy bills.

"Destroying this wilderness will do very little to reduce energy costs nor does it do very much for oil independence," said Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif.

Shocked and Dismayed

2005-12-14T05:40:00.000-08:00

Have you ever found yourself witness to something so shocking that you litterally lost your capacity to speak or act? Have you been in a situation, that you could not believe was happening so much that your brain failed in it's ability to cushion you, to allow you to react, that you just stood there dumbfounded?

In the last little while our customer quality at work has taken something of a nose dive. We have a variety of stores that are generally lacking in the capacity to operate a computer or the software there in. We have a few new stores that barely grasp the english language. As bad as all of that sounds, those are the stores that aren't breaking the mold. The other day, I had a store call in with what I consider fundamental questions on computer operation - how to use the mouse, the keyboard, and how to "do stuff with the computer." Seriously, he was asking me what to do with the damned keyboard! I had to put him on hold for a moment - I nearly cried, seriously. My job has come to that, holding the hand for a being so infantile that they don't know what to do with a fucking keyboard. I could tolerate if they were asking what I need to type, or where to go, or how to do this specific task; but this guy was looking for more basic info than that. I hurts me to believe that there are people out there like this. My mom had Keyboarding, and Advanced Keyboarding in 1961 and 1962 respectively. The keyboard has been around for a long time - of course it was in the form of a typewritter for her back then. How has this individual made it to where he is today - in this day and age without understanding the concept of typing? I still shake my head, remembering our conversation - scary, shocking.

That hasn't been the only instance recently. This morning, on my way to work, in a sum total of 2" of new snow thus far; I saw a guy in a Chevy Malibu loose control and do multiple doughnuts on University Avenue by the hospital. At 25 mph, in town, where there have been plows, in a front wheel drive car, how are you able to do multiple spins - I mean really. I know how to drive, I followed the speed limit all the way to work and had no issues. I did not slide, spin or even fishtale - WTF is wrong with people, it is only 2 fucking inches.

Aside from these examples, there have been others - too many unfortunatly. So, I'll save those for another day.

The Kick Is Up ... And Good!

2005-12-07T09:36:00.000-08:00

My Bears are doing well this season. The last four regular season games will be tough (Pittsburgh, Atalanta, Minnesota, and Green Bay), but if the defence can stay on track I believe we have a more than fair shot at claiming four more victories for the year. Maybe that is my colored home team optomism, but, you have to admit that they have been doing awefully well. 8 wins in a row is the current tally, making them 9-3 for the season thus far. I'm happy to be a Bears fan again.

The Christmas Tree is up and decorated at the house. Most of the presents have been wrapped and placed under it. It is starting to feel like the holidays to me ... finally.

Work has been an issue for me off an on here recently. I'm not going to go into it, I'm just tired ... really tired. It's getting me down, for lots of reasons, I'm looking forward to some time off.

School is good. It is looking like I'll have an A in my Anatomy and Physiology lecure and lab classes (I can't mess up the final in either one enough to drop my grade). I might have either a high B or a low A in my EMT-Basic class. Awesome - if you ask me.

I need to start my clinical time soon, I'm looking forward to that. It will be nice to put my hands to a task that acually matters, *really* helping people.

Thanksgiving

2005-11-25T08:28:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

I'm just going to take time here, and write what I have to say thanks about. I know it can be cheesy, but here we go anyway:

First and most important, Thanks for all of the warm, loving, and caring friends and family that the wife and I have so close to us. Time and distance matter little when get togethers happen, happiness shines through as we reconnect with those we have missed. The joy of friendship is truely a great gift, and we are glad to share that gift with so many.

Thanks for the warmth and security of home, no matter what form that home takes.

Thanks for the abundant bounty that we each shall be able to partake in over this holiday period.

Thanks for knowledge and hope, knowledge of where we have been and to use to build tomorrow, and hope that tomorrow will be a better day for all.

Lastly, Thanks for our loved ones being in good spirits, with those that they hold near and dear, and able to celebrate the holiday season as they see fit.

Happy Holidays everyone! We hope you all are filled with joy, happiness and know that you are all are in our thoughts this holiday season.

Call Me a Copy Cat if You Will, But I Like This One

2005-11-11T11:06:00.000-08:00

Copied from: The Wolf, ET 11 Robot

2 names you go by: Raven &/or JJ

2 parts of your heritage: Irish (Smith, Ward, O'Rory, O'Rourke, Ticer) & more Irish

2 things that scare you: Being Forgotten/Left Behind & Creepy Crawley Things (spiders, milipedes, etc...)

2 things you are wearing right now: Red Dwarf Shirt & Bears hat

2 of your favorite bands or musical artists: No Doubt & Garbage currently

2 favorite songs: Rich Girl(Gwen Stephani) & Queer(Shirly Manson)

2 things you want in a relationship (other than real love): Trust & Friendship

2 truths: Individuals are intelligent, music store owners are not & Friends are tough to earn, but are worth their weight in gold.

2 physical things that appeal to you (in the opposite sex): Laughter/Smile & That twinkle in their eye.

2 of your favorite hobbies: Movies & Martial Arts

2 things you want really badly: Vacation time & Plenty of Money to spend while on vacation.

2 places you want to go on vacation: Ireland & Alaska

2 things you want to do before you die: See Ireland & Save a life

2 ways that you are stereotypically a dude/chick: I like football - all of it - playing it, watching it, analyzing it, breathing it, etc... & I like to drive

2 things you are thinking about now:Is it 5pm yet? & I wish I could go to school full time again.

2 stores you shop at: Best Buy & Hy-Vee

Problem!

2005-11-10T09:52:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I have been going in and editing my blog spot. In part, because I really wanted a change and also in part because it was hard on the eyes for more than one of you out there. I hope that this is working out a bit better. Anyway, In many areas of this page, there are links to things that you can click on. If you have "visited" or clicked on a link, the next time that you go to the main page, you can no longer see the links unless you hover over them. The "visited" color for these links seems to be set as the same as the background. Now in my template, I found something for "visited", I have changed the color to what should be hunter green - this did not seem to correct this issue however. I'm sure I just missed the color line for this - I was hoping someone might have an idea as to where in the template I need to look for this. Thanks.

Also, thank you for the resposes on the previous post, I'll keep you informed as things come along with that.

Websites and Emails

2005-11-08T05:39:00.000-08:00

The wife and I have a project that we want to get started on. We want to start an online Restaurant and Spirits review. We want to critically review restaurants, their service, their food, and their facility; we also want to do this for various bars and other social spots in the area. To do this, we require a free or very low cost website, and and email account to go along with it. I'm familiar with the multitudes of free email out there, but if we could get the site and the email in one package it would be nice. I'm not interested in hosting something on my local computer, so a paid service would be best for us and this project. I am also willing to purchase a domain name if needed. I want this to have a different format than a blog spot, also - most blogs don't see enough traffic, from what I understand (please correct me if I'm wrong). A forum also does not seem to be a good format for what we want to do. Can anyone out there give me suggestions? Thanks.

You've got Mail....

2005-11-08T05:36:00.000-08:00

I finally got the cd mailed out on Friday. You should see it soon. I hope you enjoy them. I'll work longer and harder on an actual cover next time. I got frustrated with photoshop, which isn't too hard, I'm just not that artistic.

New Car for the Wife

2005-10-25T06:32:00.000-07:00

***UPDATE***
We got the car last night. It is everything that we wanted out of a "nice car". It rides smoothly, is quiet, and has so many of the creature comforts. It runs, stops and turns great, the engine just purs - it has some get up and go too! I had one thing wrong though - no my fault - the car is actually supposed to be burgundy, but I'm too color blind to notice, so I still see it a purple. The interior is most defenitely burgundy. In the future, it will have a remote starter added, a cd player(cd players were as standard in 95 as they are today), and possibly a sun roof. We're happy!

I recently paid off my car. That put us as a couple in fair financial condition. We have other things out there to pay on – school loans for her (but they are on deferment – we still make payments though), furniture (no interest and no payments until 2007 – we still make payments though), and school, we make our last payment for this semester in a couple of days. My wife’s birthday is coming up, and she has wanted a nice car for a while – and I can honestly say that I don’t blame her. She has suffered through two and a half years of either not having a car at all, or having one that she didn’t particularly like to drive for one reason or another. So for her birthday, I went on the hunt to find a car we can afford and that is nice. I found a great match at the local Cadillac dealer. It is a 1995 Cadillac sedan Deville, royal purple, about 95,000 miles and in awesome condition. Great paint, nice interior, working power everything, sounds nice, etc…. I’m test driving it tonight; and unless it gets sold out from under us or I find something terribly wrong with it – it will be ours Friday night this week as we have pre approved financing from the bank. She is *REALLY* happy, and I am happy for her. Happy Birthday!

KICK ASS!

2005-10-20T11:48:00.000-07:00

I scored over 100% on my latest Anatomy and Physiology test. AWESOME! I scored a 121% out of a possible 122% (there were 22 possible extra credit points availible). I'm so happy. This was definitely a rebound test for me. The last test I scored what would be a B (an 84%) in any other class, but because it is nursing related, that is actually a high C in A&P. So far, on the three tests, I have scored 113%, 84%, 121%. I right now have a 106% in the class over all. I got stares and glares after the first test, I can only imagine what this one will be like. A nearly perfect job on a test that was labled as: "the hardest of the semester". This test covered skin, blood, and the heart. The test was made up of 50 multiple choice questions, and 35 points for being able to reproduce a chart on cardiac output and skin cancer. The 22 points extra credit points came in for being able to name and detail how heart drugs work. I did that for morphine, oxygen, nitroglycerin, aspirin, beta blockers, calcium channel blockers, ace inhibitors, and epinepherine. In the instance of a heart ailment/attack, high flow oxygen is considered a drug. I'm just so happy I have been able to cut it in my return to school. YAY!

4:30 am and the Phone is Ringing

2005-10-17T10:43:00.000-07:00

Last night we got a call at 4:30. One of my wife's co-workers called in sick...again (a far too frequent event in my book). So they call my wife in first, as is the norm. She said no, she has class and home work on Monday, and had just worked the day before. She is to put in 48 normally scheduled hours as it is this week. Today, she'll put in an additional 6. The part that really sucks - she likes her job - most of the time. This pissed her off though. They supposedly called everyone else (I say supposedly, because they called back less than a half our later) - they all said no. So what happens, they mandate her to come in and pick up the slack. My wife likes her job, and has put up with a lot of crap there, sometimes quite literally. This may have been too much though. They are always doing this to her. The call her in, and most of the time, she takes it. One of the few times she says no, they screw her. I have complained in the past, that I feel that they take advantage of her. Yeah, the pay is nice, but sometimes, it isn't about the money. She can't be their sole backup plan. She can't be the superhero that comes in and saves the day with a big smile on her face. I think that she is begining to see, that there is some inequities there. Why were all the others allowed to slide on a simple no. Why does this one lady get to call in sick or hurt all the time when my wife has NEVER missed a day there in her career. Why do you screw the one that bails you out all of the time. There are a lot of questions there, I doubt any get answered.

Comming from the one who despises his management, out and out hates some of his co-workers and reviles his job and the customers there in - I may be being a little harsh - but, I just don't think so.

Comming to a Mailbox Near You...

2005-10-14T06:27:00.000-07:00

I have completed a mix cd, and I will be sending them out soon. I hope you all enjoy it.

What Dreams May Come

2005-10-12T04:33:00.000-07:00

Let me relate to you all a dream that I have had through out my adolescent and adult life. Maybe one of you out there can give me some guidance, or consolation, or ... something. The first time I remember having it was on the eve of our family move from Warsaw, Indiana to Manchester, Iowa. I was to start the 8th grade in a new school, in a different state. Since that time, the dream has come and gone as it pleases; generally leaving me emotionally drained, and physically tired form the lack of sleep. It plays havoc with my psyche, and generally promises my mood to be sour the next day. As it was much of Tuesday. Sorry Wolf.

I awake on a small vessel, floating seemingly harmlessly on the water. The boat is secured to a dock with a thick rope. The water is pitch black, and smooth as glass. The moon is out, only a sliver of a crescent - the points are pointing down. Around me, a thick blanket of fog rolls in. I feel the boat pull the rope taught with a slight jerk. The clammy air feels almost suffocating, a dank and putrid smell fill my nostrils as I begin to gag. I stumble back into the boat in a panic, almost knocking myself out of it. In the distance, I hear a loud thunderous noise; I look down and take notice of the quickening pace of the water. I turn myself, to face what awaits me on the other side of the fog, but I am already sure I know what my fate that awaits. The thunder grows deafening, the fog breaks away into a drizzly mist - my fears are confirmed and my tiny boat begins to toss about violently in the growing rapids as I near a massive waterfall. As I rush forward in the turbulent waters, to what must be a certain death, I haul in the broken part of the rope still attached to the bow of the boat. I use it to brace myself as much as possible. As I crest the top of the falls, I scream, so hard my whole chest hurts. With profound dumbness, I can't stop screaming to catch a breath. Nearly all of my oxygen is exspent as I hit the water. Water covers me in an instant, it invades my ears, nose and mouth in one instant rush - the water tastes foul. I begin to gag instantly, sucking more water into my lungs. The last images I have of myself are of me being rolled violently at the bottom of the falls. Everything fades to black.

I awake again, with what feels like a large bird perched on my head, pecking at my ear. As I open my eyes, I'm looking a vulture right in the beak. I wave my arms to shoe him away, but they feel heavy, I sit up and begin to wonder for a moment how I survived it all. My feet still in the water, I must have washed up on shore. I stand and begin to survey my surroundings - something just doesn't feel right though. I don't know how far I wander, but at some point, I decide it is a good idea to go back to where I washed a shore to see if I can scavenge for food. As I near where I think it was, I see a half decomposed body lying on the beach, much like I had been. I don't want to, but part of me believes that I must go up and have a look. As I near, the smell overwhelms me. I drop to my knees, overpowered by the sight - the sight and smell of my own rotting flesh and decaying body. Only recognizable by the ring still on my finger, and a scar in the right place on the side of my leg. I break down, and begin to cry out. As I look down at myself, the real me and not the rotting corpse, I look and feel normal. I'm crying real tears that stain the now dry fabric of my shirt. Confusion fills my head, and I feel racked with pain and despair. With all logic lost, I stand, turn and run. It is an effortless run, the kind of run that only kids can do. My thoughts turn away from grief for a fleeting moment, and then are snapped back to a state of fear. I realize that I'm being watched, worse yet - followed. I stop in the foreign landscape of tall grass and trees, frantically looking in all the directions I can. Then my eyes fall onto a truly horrifying vision. A dark man is riding on a dark horse in my direction. The man seems shrouded in some sort of dark shadow, his only standout features are his fiery red eyes, his obsidian armor, and his dark blade already in his hand. His mare has hooves, mane and tail of fire - she snorts loudly and blows out a cloud of brimstone. I instantly turn and begin running again. I know that I'm not fast enough though. I dart around and through trees, for a moment I think I might have done it, but the next tree I round he is standing there. I backpedal, just too slowly. He sends me to the ground with a hammering punch to the face. I struggle away from him on the ground, kicking my heels and reaching back with my elbows in the dirt. He swings that dark blade at his side, and then plunges it into my chest, stapling me to the ground. He lets out a laugh that sounds as though hell is coming with it. I look down, at the blade plunged into my chest, as I touch the wound, my hands are covered with a thick tar. The dark rider grabs his blade, and as he with draws it, I can feel a part of me going with it. The rider turns, gains his mount, and rides away. Again, I feel the light of life leaving me; I turn cold, short of breath, and struggle to maintain consciousness. As I slip away, I feel the ground begin to swallow my body up.

A lone figure stands over a grave. In an instant, I am by their side. The figure, a boy about 12 years old slaps down on the crown of the grave stone a ring... my ring. I look closer to see my name carved into the white grave stone. The boy curses, stoops down, and picks up a handful of dirt. Without another word, he turns and walks through me, as though I were not at his side. I watch the boy walk away; he crests a hill, and then disappears onto the other side. I hear a loud sound, like a deep exhaust note from a motorcycle. I see the boy has joined up with another, a man wearing all black leathers on a black motorcycle. I'm griped with fear; I reach out to the boy, and begin to yell. The boy hesitates for a moment, then turns away. As he straddles the back seat, I feel pulled away from the scene. The laughter from the darker rider echoes through the air as the two ride away. I bury my head in my hands, and breathe out forcefully, willing the pain to end. Instead, I’m bathed in a bright white light. I stand as I uncover my eyes partially; the light is bright enough to need to shield them at first. As my eyes adjust to this new environment, I see that I’m in a square room. There is not window, only a door with what looks like a mirror on it. My feet feel odd; I notice that the floor is padded. So are the walls. I’m wearing very light blue hospital type scrubs. I hear the door opening. Three male nurses enter, and one lady nurse. The men grab my arms and legs, and keep telling me that it will go easier if I stop struggling. The lady sticks a needle in my arm, and nearly instantly things start to fuzz out. All four leave me in the room alone, in a heap on the floor in a semi conscious state. I feel my heart in my chest; the beating begins to slow as though I had recently exerted myself. The pace of my heart normalizes. I feel empty inside; lost again to my thoughts, and my thoughts alone.

I should note that I have had this dream a fair amount over the years, so I do know it well. It has progressed through to its current end. When it first started, it didn’t get nearly as far as it does now.

Taking a Step Back

2005-10-11T08:58:00.000-07:00

I find myself full of feelings I haven't had in a while, feelings that have been absent for varying lengths of time. It is like my mind, my very being has taken a giant step backward.

There has been a lot bothering me lately - I keep feeling as though once I get one part of my life shored up, another part comes crashing down around me. It has been that way before, but at this point in my life, I have so much too keep up with that I feel stretched a little thin.

In work, things have been changing - a lot. We have a boat load of new policies for the staff and workplace, new job descriptions and titles (although - that is mostly for looks, nothing *REALLY* changed there, for most of us that is), new software developments to support, new people to train, and so on. It takes me a while to adjust to change at times, I freely admit to that. This has caused me some stress and some anxiety, however most of them I have been able to work through. Last week we were told that we were all getting a website to play with. Support, including the support managers, thought these were sites for us to play with and to break through testing - so that we could better support the new developments that we have released. This I would have been fine with, however.... upper management informed us that not only was this not the case, but we were to design these sites so they could be shown off to potential and current customers. We then were assigned a retail type (bike or music - that what we deal with for the most part) for our site to target. ... ... ... Here is where the Raven gets extremely angry. I do software support for a specific piece of software. I was TRAINED to do this, so that is what I do. I have not been trained on networking - so I don't support it. I have not been trained to support operating systems - so for the most part I don't. I have not been trained to do web development and design - what do they expect of me? Do they really think that I'm going to have the technical and mechanical knowledge to put together a site that doesn't look amateur crap at best? I'm not an artistic person, really have never claimed to be. Do they really expect my site to look nice, sharp, professional and creative? I have little in the way of company licensed software at hand to help me with any part of this task. I have the site itself, admin access, an ftp site with admin access, our software to push up inventory, and windows paint. I'm supposed to do logos with that? I'm supposed to make it look creative, professional, and detailed with that? Yeah...RIIIIGHT! What are they on? Needless to say, this project is receiving my Dvlpr - Lowest Priority. This company is so dumb sometimes it physically makes my head hurt - really. After hearing about all this, the reality sunk in on the way home. I had an instant headache. I took medicine and laid down. I have given this some time to sink in, and it still really bothers me. They wonder why I'm going to school to be a paramedic.

Aside from work, personal relationships have been strained at times in the last little while. I don't really know or understand why either. At times, some people in my life are just hard to read. I know that I at times am not the best person, I have really tried to not direct my temper at people who don't have anything to do with my current mood. Apparently, this comes off badly though, so I'm at a loss there as well. Once again, I have to shore it up, and hope it doesn't topple for a while.

Health wise - my fingers hurt. I've done a lot more walking, I'm getting smaller. The diet seems to be going well. Sunday night I hurt my hamstring on my left leg though. I feel sore a lot more in general now. I don't know if it is the activity level, or if it one of the medicines I'm on, or what... we'll see.

School is going well. I'm currently maintaining a 4.0. Mid terms are coming up. I'm also registering for spring classes soon. I look forward to school, sweet blissful escape. I remember feeling comfortable in school when I was at Kirkwood that feeling is returning to me.

Lastly, I haven't slept well in a couple of weeks. My once, almost forgotten terror has returned. I've had the dream 6 times in the last two weeks. At least, I think I know how it ends. I could be wrong though. I think that this dream carries a little more of my sanity away with each repetition though. Each time, I feel less able or prepared to deal with it. I hope that I can hang on to what I have of sanity's short rope.

Exactly

2005-09-30T13:51:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine sent me a link to this persons rant. I couldn't have said it better myself. Have an enjoyable read.

Let's face it: a lot of people have computers and have them to enable them to do their job.

Yes. And when they don't understand what "desktop", "double click", "open Internet Explorer", or "the menu at the top" means, they are not qualified to do their job, if it is true that their job requires use of a computer. Who did they have to sleep with to get this job?

Their job is not, typically, "working out why the computer doesn't work". That's you job tech support people. Help them.

Believe me, we'd like to, if for no other reason than to get them the hell off the phones so we can go back to playing Unreal.

However, we are not telekinetic nor telepathic. When a user calls with a problem, they need to be my eyes and hands. I can't tell what the problem is when I get descriptions like "I'm trying to log in and it doesn't work." Log into what? What doesn't work? Are there any error messages? You've gotta play Twenty Questions with these people to get anything done.

There is no excuse for this. It is analagous to pulling up to the garage and telling the mechanic "Car doesn't work." When they ask what the car is doing, you shrug and say "I don't know, I can't remember exactly. But I really need to drive it..." I really can't count how many times a day I have to deal with that. "It doesn't work, I don't know what the error message said, I don't know what I was trying to log into, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. Fix it."

Is the user calling and they're not even at their computer? Would they take a bus or cab to the mechanic and ask for their car, which they left at home, to be fixed? If not, why are they doing the same thing to us?

The job of a tech bitch is to help, as you said, but that's all we can do. Help. We can't do it when the user is completely clueless and can't follow our instructions. That, in and of itself, is reason enough to learn a little something about that machine you work with eight or nine hours a day, five days a week, for years -- so that when you do need help, we can help you.

I don't insist that everyone be a master hacker to use a computer, any more than I insist they be a master mechanic to drive a car. But we're not talking about that, are we? The level of basic, basic operation required of most users -- how to open files, how to download things, how to click a link, how to send an email attachment -- is more like getting into a car and not knowing how to shift gears, how to press the gas and brake pedals, or how to operate the turn signals.

We also can't help when the user makes shit up. If you don't know, fine, whatever -- but just say so and I'll walk you through it. When you tell me that the "H-bar came back," I don't know what the hell you're talking about. (He meant he was looking at a DOS prompt, if you're wondering.) When you tell me that "the window floated away", I don't know what that means. If I ask if you're using a VPN, and you don't know, don't just say no. When you tell me that you're "tunneling the network through Outlook", I know you're full of shit, and I cannot help you.

Finally, as long as I'm ranting, I ask that you at least try. That's all. About a third of the calls I get involve someone trying to log into something, it doesn't work, and instead of trying again, which almost always solves the problem, they immediately scream for help. If it were a car, it would be like getting into your car, turning the key, and if the engine doesn't catch instantly the first time, you immediately exit the vehicle and call AAA to have it towed, never thinking to just try again.

We're not asking them to change their own oil -- we're asking them to understand that the "engine" has "oil" that needs to be "changed" once in a while, and to tell someone this when the time comes.

It's 10pm, Do I know where I am?

2005-09-27T19:58:00.000-07:00

Well, it is 10pm, and I'm at my desk. The only four foot long piece of formica in the world that I revile. I hate it - absolutely, with every fiber and dwindling ounce of my being. Why am I here you ask? Well, I'm here working on this conversion for a customer - and it is taking me forever. When I say me I really mean the shitty conversion program, which was coded by our programmers and then bondoed together with cheap duct tape and rusty barbed wire, is taking forever. The programmers, in their drunken state, decided long ago, that reading in keywords, should take 15 hours to do per 50,000 records. Any way, I'm here to try to get it done, for a likely unimpressed, unthankful piece of crap music store owner. Again, I can hear you asking why - well, I told them I would have it done, and MY word means something - so here I am. With any luck, I'll be home in an hour, to get some sleep, then to get in here early to get it all wrapped up.

The Wolf is away again. The week in hell has returned with a vengence. I really hate it when the Wolf is gone anymore. Of the seven of us remaining in support, only three of us put in a decent day's work today. Me and the two newest guys, how sad is that? The tweedles did their usual, so did the other senior techs - unfortunatly. Although, I have some dirt on the one tweedle that ought to get his ass canned for sure.

One of our dos version users called today. Their system is hosed, and they want us to fix it. GREAT! I think they should take a flying leap, but we're all a bunch of spineless wonders here and will bend over backwards for anyone to make a buck, even though it'll cost us fifty to make that one. I, amazingly, am the only one remaining here able to see this fact. Further evidence that this company is screwing itself like it is going out of style.

On the health front, I have lost almost 14 pounds in the last 3 weeks and 3 days. I'm on medicine for my diabetes as well as some other stuff. My sugars are comming down, so that is good. I get a little more food to eat, so I don't feel so drained all the time - also good. I'm getting about as much exercise as I can jam into my schedule, and that seems to be helping. We shall see how this all goes.

I have an 'A' in each of my classes. That is really cool. I hope that I can maintain that through the end of the semester.

We finally got our new furniture. It looks and feels really awesome. I'm glad to have it.

Well, I'm going to call it a night here. I hope tomorrow is better, of course, I have to keep in mind, that I'm not far from tomorrow at this point. We shall see. Maybe tomorrow is the day that I snap. Maybe, tomorrow is the day I hit the lotto. Tomorrow, so full of potential - let's see how it can let me down yet another time.

Weekend Update with ...

2005-09-13T13:16:00.000-07:00

Not Norm McDonald.

Well, let me see here, what is new?

I did a smoking awesome job on my first Anatomy and Physiology test. I got the top grade in the class and near the top in the whole section for the instructor. This sparked some long forgotten side effects though. The devilishly evil stares from fellow class patrons for one and jealousy another. I was used to seeing those side effects in my theology classes in my previous studies, in class that brought back some fond memories. On the upside, I felt filled with pride, knowing that my return to school was not going to be a long winding road of failures. While I had done well in my first degree in school, that was completed 5 years ago now - so I was on the apprehensive side of things. I'm actually looking forward to my first test in my EMT class, which is next week. My A&P Lab is ok, the instructor is a goof, but seems to get the material across. So far, it looks like I have an A in the lab as well.

With significant change to the old diet, I have produced about a 50 point drop in my blood sugars. On days that I am more active, the change is even greater. The issue is the overnight elevation and the fact that my desk job allows me no exercise at all during the day - follow that with school two days a week and well that is what you get. I need to get back into going to the gym in the mornings, that’ll help some. I also need to make a habit of walking for a while after dinner - that seemed to help a lot. Beyond that, I dunno for the time being, I'll keep ya posted. I go to the doc next week for more testing and talking.

The wife is also in school. She seems to be doing well with her speech class; she seems to like it too. She also has a history class, I guess the instructor just lectures for the full time block (2 1/2 - 3 hrs.) with no breaks - blah, I like history, and that would put me down like a tranq dart. I hope that the instructor gets better; otherwise, I foresee that being a long, boring, bummer of a class for her this semester.

The new furniture for the living room should be ready for us to pick up at any time now; I can't wait for it to get here. Pheffer (the rabbit) is doing well, he will be off to the vet for neutering soon, I think that it is going through the change though; it has been moody as of late.

Pale Horse

2005-09-07T07:00:00.000-07:00

Why is it that when you get one part of your life figured out, the rest of it goes to pot around you? Seriously!?!

Since the first of the year, I have worked out more - including weight training and aerobic exercises; I have also eaten better - I eliminated fast food, added fiber, fruits and vegetables at whole new levels. Sounds good right? Well as good as it is, and it really is good, it is all for not - well, not exactly, I'm just being hard on myself. This last week I officially found out it was too little too late when I was diagnosed as having Type 2 Diabetes.

Right now I am really depressed about it all. The choices I have made, the lifestyle I have lived have contributed to this eventuality; and that was what it was, a someday in the future eventuality. I knew this from early on in life, as both my parents are diabetic. But up until last week, it was a shadow lurking in the unknown and distant future. Now it seems that shadow was lurking much closer. Those choices I made, the lifestyle I was accustomed to have come back to haunt me in full force.

A friend of mine has been reminiscing about the fond not too distant past - I find myself thinking back and damning myself for the choices I have made (each one amounting to a proverbial nail in a future coffin) , and this isn't the first time. My past has cost me a lot, literally. Speeding tickets to save a few minutes have cost me with increased insurance rates; now, a lifetime of poor health choices is going to cost me dearly.

At a time of many changes in my life, the profound rining of this one I can't seem to stop. The timber and resonance has disrupted much in my life. I lack concentration at times, I have slept poorer as of late, and I am depressed - which has effected those around me.

I'm sure things will get better, it isn't as bad as I'm making it out to be - this is all true. My parents have known and have controlled it for many years now. While this will have an impact on my life, things will return to some sort of normal in the future. It is just the initial shockwave of it all that has swept over me, and until that has had a chance to disapate, I will feel as I do now. I'm sorry to all of those caught in the ripples.

Holy Toledo Batman!

2005-09-01T08:26:00.000-07:00

Hurricane Katrina: not just a natural disaster.

What do I mean? Well lets evaluate things for a moment.

The storm flooded communities with storm surge, flooed more with heavy rains, blew down trees, cut power and telecomunications to hundreds of thousands, destroyed homes and business with complete disregard in a fell swoop. It brought down levies that caused the flooding across New Orleans.

The storm itself, and the resulting flooding has caused the deaths of hundreds - if not thousands of people - not to mention the wild life costs. Those left in the wake of the disaster, wander without food, water, communication, and/or facilities in high humidity and summer heat. The dead are left where they lie in an effort to rescue the surviors - elevating the risks of disease. The ciminal element has reared it ugly head, looting is a major issue. Today, evacuations were discontinued due to gun fire and arson near the superdome. Thousands cling to hope, waiting to be evacuated to drier, safer areas - with fresh food and water, a place to sleep and to clean up. Families anxiously wait to hear from missing loved ones; those alive long to reach out to those they love outside the disaster, and morn the loss of others. The human/social tolls are being taken.

The disaster has effected one of the nations biggest ports. As such, certain commodities have seen their costs elevated. Namely fuel costs. Refineries are shut down for repairs and clean up. Oil rigs are like wise off line. Shipping lanes on the Mississippi are blocked with debris, highways and railways are flooded or washed out making transportation nearly impossible.

And to think, all of that, is just the begining. Clean up is projected to take months, some estimates are up to nearly six months now. Rebuilding, should it happen, will take years.

I'm wondering, as I'm sure others are as well, will New Orleans be rebuilt? One has to weigh the cost vs the benefits - can we afford such a risk? I don't know, I'm sure we will all find out in the months to come.

Day 4 Knee Deep in the Dead

2005-08-18T13:03:00.000-07:00

Ok, so it isn't that bad, and I'm not playing Doom.

It has been a tough week though, and there is still one day to go. Today has been only moderately craptastic. I still have taken a good majority of the calls, and I have had to deal with Jackfucktardicus Maximus at New Milford far too much. I'm at the end of my rope with the dipshit, seriously. Anywho (calming down) ... The call flow hasn't been too bad, and there have been a few pluses. I knocked off some cases today, got a fair amount of work done and some things accomplished, and the new store that I have to work with on this new thing we offer is good - he has an actual clue. He will be using me for the periodic advisor, you know, like it is supposed to be. If I felt better, the day would have been better, I hope I'm not getting sick.

I don't have a lot more to write about. The weather this morning was awesome. Beyond that, I think I'm going home and going to try to feel better.

Penetrating the Inner Sanctum

2005-08-17T11:51:00.000-07:00

That must make me Parker.....

Well, were at day three in hell. Today started off kind of slow - deceivingly nice. Then it went down like a DC10.

I'm averaging about 50% of the calls today. I have also had a few cases just dumped on me. And another store to work with for this new thing we have going. Great. I missed my afternoon break, of course, I couldn't have one, no one was around to answer the phones otherwise. Today is almost over. I'm really glad. Last night I didn't get bombed, I think that I might tonight. The stress has been pretty high, it climbs higher every day.

This sucks.

A week in Hell - Day 2

2005-08-16T14:09:00.000-07:00

So, the week that the Wolf took for vacation was a good one, for him at least. I really hope that he is enjoying his time off. Today, I have been really busy - absolutely swamped. I think I'm going to get bombed tonight. I fielded over 25% of the incomming calls today. I took a couple call that were just horrible. I also made over a dozen outgoing calls, for cases and for this new thing that we're offering. I have more cases, and less time to work on them! I soooo look forward to school, my life might actually get easier - I'll be leaving early 2 days, and out for part in the middle of another.

As a side note, no matter how much I vent here, no matter how much the day does really suck, I *REALLY* do hope that the Wolf is enjoying his well deserved time away. I just wish I were away too - actually, more accurately, I wish my co-workers work live up to that name sake, and do some work and not leave me holding the bag so much of the time.

Work

2005-08-15T13:42:00.000-07:00

I am finding work to be extremely disagreeable this week. I'm swamped. I have had a few tough cases for a while now. For the most part, they aren't going anywhere either. I have work on most of them quite a lot, but that doesn't seem to really matter. Also, we have this new thing that stores can sign up for. We have to walk them through getting stuff setup in the program, and online. The two stores that got assigned to me are terrible, and a huge drain on my time. One is way worse than the other, the guy is computer illiterate, negative about everything (mind you, he signed up for it) and a whiney bitch about it all. He calls me no less than 3 times a day we work on this. On top of that, add that I take more calls than two other support techs because of their extra responsibilities. The Wolf is on vacation which means the newest guy is asking me all of his questions and so are the two retards (tweedle worthless and Tweddle fucking idiot retard (formally tweedle dumb - downgraded to a whole new level of dumb due to evolutionary evidence he evolved from soil depleated of all nutrients except monkey shit)). I think I need to blow some steam off.

On a lighter note, the wife and I found and purchased a matching set of furniture over the weekend... YAY! And, my truck is paid off... also a big YAY! Unfortunataly, that is just in time to let me pay for school and of course, new furniture. :-)

I started lifting in the mornings. I hate mornings. But this way I can lift and go to school. I'll also be able to lift more often and I'll be able to lift with a partner - my wife will be joining me... YAY! Which is good, because she is what gets me out the door that early in the mornings, and she can use the extra strength, especially for TKD and Kung Fu.

Well, it is almost time for me to end my existance here for today, see everyone tomorrow. I hope the Wolf is enjoying his time away.

26 Today

2005-08-11T08:19:00.000-07:00

So I turn 26 today - and there was rejoicing.... yay. Tonight there will pizza, friends, and spirits.... YAY!

Speaking of spirits, last Friday I had a blast helping one of my friends celebrate his 21st birthday. We had a lot of fun and good times, a lot of drinks, and a lot of pictures.

The Saturday following, we (the wife and I) tested for our Dark Green belts in Tae Kwon Do. She did awesome. I goofed up a turn. I think we'll both pass, but she definitely did a lot better than I. By this time next year, if all goes well, we'll be red belts. Scary...huh.

We also recently purchased a bunny. A Flemish Giant to be exact. He is about 8 weeks old at this point and weighs about 4lbs. He will get close to 30lbs when full grown. We decided to call him Pfeffer, short for Hassen Pfeffer. For those who don't speak any German, that is the name of a rabbit dish. We were considering Stewart, calling him Stew for short.

I took a week off of my physical activities this week. I'm definitely feeling my age in some ways. My knee has been killing me this week. I have also been having some trouble with my wrist and elbow on my right arm. All the lifting has been paying off though. In my last meeting with my physical trainer I learned that I dropped 7% overall body fat. I am also near a position where I must go by new clothes, some things are just way too big for me to be wearing. I also benched more than I have EVER benched before on that day. 325lbs. It was cool. I'll start in again next week, hopefully refreshed and less broken and old feeling.

Lastly, I start back to school soon. For those who don't know, I'll be entering the EMT program this fall. I'll finish that fairly easily and quickly, then I will be able to move into the Radiology Technician program. I'm on the waiting list for the Rad Tech, that is why I'm starting the EMT first. That way I can cover some of the requirements for the Rad Tech program ahead of time.

I have had a lot going on, at home, at work, and socially. So it is hard to keep up here. Hopefully once I settle into a routine in the comming weeks, this will be easier to do again.

Boredom.... ringing in my head!

2005-07-21T11:32:00.000-07:00

So, I'm really bored. Really really bored. I have been trying to do almost anything to fight it away, I even tried throwing stuff at the Wolf - nothing. I poked fun at the tweedles - nothing. I even did actual work - to no avail though - still bored.

I think boredom is a condition, an affliction of sorts. It is contageous, and it spreads quickly. You can get mired down in it, wallow in it even - if you'd want to. I learned a lot about boredom from the Garfield comics I read as a kid. There is a cure, but it is different for everyone out there - a strange contagion indeed. I have no Odie to boot into the middle of next week, and no pans of lasagna to consume. I can't sit in the window, looking down upon the land that I rule over; and I can't shread the mailman's pant legs. My fish tank is all cleaned up, and has been redecorated. My desk is already clean. In short, I have only boredom - a fickel mistress she is too.
Yours;
Raven the Bored
Duke of Nothingshire

I Just don't know -

2005-07-19T12:58:00.000-07:00

Well, life continues to be busy, here is what I have been up to lately:

I had my little sister and brother up this last weekend. Friday we went bowling with the Wolf, and then rented a movie - 'The Boogyman'. During the day on Saturday, we all went to the mall and enjoyed time out. On Saturday evening, I had a party for tastefully simple product line. A lot of Roberta's family were there. It was fun, we got to show off our "impressive" (Roberta's family are a lot of farmers and were impressed with the amount of planting we have done on a rental property with very little dirt) little garden, and our recently redone kitchen. It was a lot of fun, with a lot of good food. Later in the evening, we finally watched our rented movie - not a great movie, but somewhat entertaining fo those partial to the horror type movie. Sunday morning Roberta and I marched in a parade for our Tae Kwon Do club, it was hot - really hot! After that, we went and saw 'War of the Worlds' - also not a great movie, but entertaining up until the end.

In other news, I'm going to be going back to school, I got accepted into the EMT program at NICC, and have been placed on the waiting list for the Radiology Technician program. I begin classes this fall, and should have completed the program in about 2 years at 3/4 time status. The main inhabition is that some classes are only offered at certain times. But, in the end, I'll be able to rescue people and drive really fast with lights and sirens! :)

My fitness program has progressed as well. I'm benching 255lbs 10 times, curling 130lbs 10 times, military pressing 175lbs 10 times, doing pull downs at 150lbs 10 times, and butterfly pressing 125lbs 10 times. I have maxed out most of the leg machines, and use the stair master for a total of 24 minutes per work out as well as walking a full mile. So, that seems to be going well, I know I'm getting smaller as clothes are fitting looser and looser. However, my overall weight loss seems next to nothing.

In Tae Kwon Do, we are testing for Dark Green in a couple of weeks. And in Kung Fu we are going to establish a consistant schedule soon. It has been hard with the summer busy schedule, but it will be done.

Beyond that, my continued revile of the tweedles is ever ongoing, while the newest member of support has seemed to already surpassed their combined knowledge and usefullness. Beyond that, he is nice, fun, and far more personable. Also, he ranks high on the geek rank chart. It is really nice to have a fellow geek among us. I hope he lasts.

Doncha Come Back No More .....

2005-07-06T13:23:00.000-07:00

The tweedles really need to go. The both have been on the job for about a year, one just over - the other just under. They both are completely worthless and horribly lazy. They take forever on the easiest of calls, and on harder calls it takes them an eternity. They still ask the rest of us basic questions, questions that they should not be asking and we should not be having to answer at this stage of the game. They blow off some customers, continually telling them the wrong thing to do just to get them off of the phone. They are a drain on support, causing more work for the rest of us because they are too stupid, ignorant, and lazy to do their fucking job and to do it right. I and others may have caught on faster than usual, but Crist, these two are the definition of worthless and ineffectual. Brillodick - known as tweedle dumb, is a asshole, a worthless piece of ricer wannabe shit, that we all would love to have the chance to choke the shit out of. He has the personality of rotten vegitation and the intelligence to match. If this fucktard got any stupider, we could proudly say that we hire the handicapped, but while doing so, we would be completely slamming the handicapped around the globe. Perez, known as tweedle worthless, at least has a somewhat tollerable personality. However, he is the reason behind the "Earthquakes in Space" inside joke. It bugs me to no end to know that he is going to school and succeeding in a CS program. I have thus significantly lowered my thoughts, expectations and feelings about any CS program or degree holder - because apparently to get one of those degrees all you have to do is fucking breathe and show up to class. The two combine for about a quarter of the work that the wolf and I put in in a day - and while that seems shitty, it is actually a blessing - because they are so fucking lazy, it reduces the overall amount of work we do to clean up after them because they haven't fucked up that much comparitively. I can't wait for them to go, and if management doesn't take some initiative and move toward getting them out of here, then I think that I shall have to do so myself.

Now then.... I feel better, at least a little.

Friends and Festivities

2005-07-05T13:44:00.000-07:00

Celebrating the 4th of July this year was great. We didn't go to the annual block party by the river this year, but I had just as much fun. We went to a friends house and had a cook out - burgers and brauts - the usual but tastey summer fare. Later we had a big party fire, fueled ourselves up with some barley pops and other aged spirits. We had a lot of fun with some little fireworks of our own, and gathered around an talked. I got a chance to see and talk to a friend that I haven't seen in some time - it was great. She seems happy and enjoying life. I also got to see some other friends that I don't see as often as I would like. We all got together, and made a day of it. It was great - I really can't say that enough. I wish we could have these get togethers more often..... I'm sure they would be great! :-)

Haven't been here in a while.

2005-06-28T08:34:00.000-07:00

I realized today that I had not posted here in a while. So I thought I should do that. Life has been busy.

I have worked on finishing up the land scaping in the front yard - still have a bit to do yet though. I put up some stone blocks to act as a retaining wall. I have some trimming and muching to do yet. I also need to get a couple of the flower beds cleaned up better.

We have also been paining the kitchen, it is a new shade of green. The ceiling is white now, and so are the doors and the cabinets and the cabinet doors. We have plans to put down new floor tile this week as well. It has a small floral pattern to it, and is not white, kind of has a stone look to it.

At work I have had a few new resposibilities given to me, so that has kept me a little more busy there than usual. I have been put in charge of maintaining the ftp site, as well as the support email and setting up our avi movies for customers to download.

Tae Kwon Do is rolling along nicely, recently gained another rank - we are light green belts now. Kung fu is also going well, we are now official full fledged students, it is quite nice.

My computer at home was overheating, but that is fixed with some cable wrap and a group of new fans. Hopefully that will resolve that problem completely.

I have been learning how to bowl with a hook thanks to the Wolf, the other week I bowled a 169 with only a hook. Not too bad if I do say so my self.

I have continued to work out, I am smaller and much stronger. I'm starting to get a little tone to my muscles, and I know there is a lot of strength there. I like this trend and hope it continues.

This it the weekend for the 4th of july. There are a lot of activities planned, I'm looking forward to hanging out with the group, and having some good times. I hope it isn't too hot, but I'm sure we'llhave fun anyway.

Well, I need to go back to work, I shall try to keep on top of this better.

Figuring Things Out

2005-06-06T13:54:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend I had plenty of time to think about some things that have been bothering me. The good news is that I feel better for having done so, and I think I have a handle on a few things.

First: WORK
It isn't the job that I hate, I could do the work in many other settings and be happy I think. Customers could be better and/or smarter, there could be better management, and more money, but all those things pale in comparrisson to what really gets my ire. Everyone has something here, something extra, something special. One guy is the network guy and the inventory guy; another does the hardware, The Wolf has his gift cards and softball, The newest guy does web developement, the tweedles do softball, etc.... I, on the other hand, just do support. I have had other "projects" but I don't get to keep them. They get pulled out from under me and done poorly. With that said, I know exactly why I absolutely hate my job. I do hard work, more work than most everyone else - The Wolf is the only one who I consider to truely work at my level. I have a pittifully bad manager - not only bad at management within the department or the business, but equally bad at life. The tweedles are both completely dumb, lazy, worthless and irritating. The new guy, having been here for more than a couple months now, has just recently really began taking calls. The company as a general rule is not only extremely top heavy, but also short sighted, and miss lead. The family has gotten in the way of true growth at times, and has stunted it in other times. Promises are forgotten or were lies to begin with. The customers are bad, actually there are horrible - increasingly so. They are rude, ignorant, wothless, and brainless - and to top that, lazy. Some are the lazies SOB's I've ever had the displeasure to have known. The few bright/nice ones out there, the truely bright/nice ones rarely call. Then there is the money, it isn't that good. My sister-in-law did what I do now in Maine, and received three times the salary. Not saying that more money would make it all better, but hell, when working for relative peanuts combined with everything else - well it just blows.

So, to sum it all up, I hate my job because I got the short end of the stick here. I'm the part that doesn't fit. Everyone else does. They have that bit of extra, the cake on the side, the distraction, the excuses not to work. Hell the one guy that none of us can stand, is still here - Why? - because of that bit of extra - he one of those lies that I speak of. If I truely want to fix things, I see only one solution. I have been working toward that solution, just failing to reach it.

The job, and the place aren't the problem - it is me. I have known that I was different since early on, but it took this long to see it. Everyone else fits, they have their extra. And that folks is why I hate it here oh so bad.

*UPDATE*
Well things change. I wonder sometimes if someone is either reading my mind and trying to help, or are quite literally reading things here and trying to help. This morning I got an email from the Boss. He gave me a list of three new things for me to do other than support. I have to say that at the very least it is od timing - but I tend to think otherwise, I think that I had a little help from The Wolf on this one - too many coincidences. Well at any rate, I think it will make things better - at least for a while.

Feast or Famine

2005-06-02T11:58:00.000-07:00

So the wolf is/has been on vacation this week. And this while good for him, really blows otherwise. If we are slow, I'm bored out of my skull with no one to talk to. If we are busy, I am doubly so because the tweedles are continually dumb and worthless, and the others have other "things" to work on. At times I have been seriously the only guy on the phones. But enough complaining, I hope the wolf is able to enjoy his time off and get the things accomplished that he had hoped to do. I'm looking forward to the weekend, as most of my major project have been completed. Well, now it is busy again..... at least time flies then.

A Night at the Movies

2005-05-25T07:36:00.000-07:00

I recently saw Star Wars Episode 3, Blade 3, Lemony Snickets, and House of Flying Daggers.

Ranking them in the best to Worst I'll have to start with SWE3.
I'll start by saying I really liked it, it may be my second favorite of them all. The actors really seemed to adapt to their roles and live in the moment. It was very enjoyable, I had a lot of fun watching it. Even though it was a very sad and dark movie, I was very happy by the end of the show. I was wrapped up in the whole experience, loved every minute of it. It was great, well worth the money.

Blade 3
Also a pretty good movie. Not as good as the first one, certainly less annoying than the second one. there we several parts I really liked, others that could have been better. However, the one dissappointment was that this one followed the standard Blade movie plot line. To say it was a predictable movie would be a huge understatement - something along the lines of the Titanic was a big bath tub toy. But the fight seens, and the comic relief made the movie fair - at least rentable - a good way to pass an hour and a half.

Lemony Snickets
Not bad - could have been better; although, that could have easily been accomplished by seeing Jim Carey drawn and quartered on stage - I really really really did not like Carey in this one. Now, I'm not a huge Carey fan, and that may have colored my vision, but I know others including my wife that do like Carey and they though he was bad too. I liked Sunny, and Montgomery. It was entertaining, but could have been much better.

House of Flying Daggers
I fell asleep. Now I had been busy, and had been working hard on physically demanding projects. That may have been part of it. But, I believe that major part of it is the repeated attempts at capturing the glory of Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon by other martial arts movies. It was really arts in the begining for what I could determin for no reason. The opening sequences are neat, but have the overdone feeling like shoe leather grade well done steaks. I'll give it another chance, sometime when I'm much less tired, that may change my opinions.

Situation Critical, Meltdown Eminent!

2005-05-12T09:45:00.000-07:00

I swear to god, the next person to tell me to stop drinking soda pop, I'm going to rip their throat out and watch the light fade from their eyes - as they are unable to speak and tell me that soda causes cancer.

A) NO scientific study ever has clearly, and concisely PROVEN a relation ship between soda pop consumption and ANY CANCER - PERIOD! (See the New England Journal of Medicine, or the Harvard Medical Chronical) To those who want to point to the saccarine and other artifical sweetner studies - review the facts, they injected those rats with more sweetner chemicals than you could get from diet soda if you were to drink it all day long for a week. And then they did it again, and again, and again.

B) DIET SODA IS NOT LIKE DRINKING GASOLINE - why, well I just had some, and if according to one doctor here locally and this were the case as he has suggested I would be dead or dying right now. Well, we are all just in the process of dying, but my departure in that case would have been much expedited. Inflamitory remarks like this have been made by doctors since doctoring has been around. WHAT A BUNCH OF BULLSHIT! What does he know that the rest of the scientific community doesn't. Besides, it wan't that long ago that soda water was the Modern Miracle Cure. To think that we are so inclusive of our knowledge of everything now compared to then is plain foolishness.

C) I have given up much, either on my own accord or by the peer pressure of others. I draw the line here. I will die some day, it may even be by the dark hand of cancer - so be it. But just to be fair, I could be done in by being hit by a freight train while playing the bagpipes, stuck by lightning will winning the powerball, falling from a hot air ballon while practicing the art of defenistration, or (much more reasonably I believe) fall to ailments much more common in my family - diabetes or heart failure.

The point is, I get enjoyment from a nice cold soda, and so what if I do. The POINT of LIFE is to LIVE happily - right? SO, those of you out there, and you know who you are, step off.

Minature Garden of Eden

2005-05-09T09:32:00.000-07:00

Ok, well it isn't quite that as of yet, but we are a few more steps closer. The front yard is taking on a completely new look. I stripped away large swaths of grass, eliminating the bottom 2 feet of the hill to make a suitable planting area. In this new planting realestate, I have put in rock cress, creeping phlox, and other perennial ground cover. This way it will be easier to mow, and will look a ton better. I'm also planting holly bushes, tomatos, and herbs.

A Fishy Day at the Office

2005-05-05T10:42:00.000-07:00

The Vice President of the company has had a fish tank for the last couple years. Recently it had fallen into quite a state of disrepair. It needed cleaned badly, a new filter, and some decore. He decided that he no longer had the time that the tank required of him, so he was going to toss it out. I offered to take it off his hands, and began immediately cleaning it. It currently sits on the side of my desk. I have plans to replace the filter, add another fish, and some much needed decoration. I never though of myself as a fish person. I have had them in the past, and I did ok with them, but I never really got into owning fish before. I think that I mostly wanted it for a distraction, and for the soothing running water sound. I should hope that this will work in both facets.

Freaking Busy!

2005-04-29T13:28:00.000-07:00

So the last couple of day have been busy for me. I had two customer conversions going, plus my usual call and casr load. All during short days. Oh well, it is done and I'm glad. Happy to see another work week come to a close.

My work load would have been less it it weren't for tweedle dumb. His actions in some way caused me to loose data in a fleeting moment of distraction, so I had to repeat three hours of work on the grounds of the power of DUMB!

Last night was my Tae Kwon Do club's Kickathon. I kicked around 450 time in the allotted 10 min, and my wife did over 600 in the same allotted time. So, not only is she a midnight ninja, but she has speed and endurance on me.... CRAP! :-)

I have a lot of power, so it'll hurt if it connects, she has the speed and is able to throw kicks a bit faster and a lot closer together. She also has an easier time with the techniques sometimes. My knee and size can be a hinderance at times. All in all we have fun, and that is what is important to us. It is nice to see how far we have come, and to look forward to how far we have yet to travel.

Results

2005-04-26T09:35:00.000-07:00

My relatively recent life changes (eating habits, exercise habits, etc...) have already begun netting some results for me. I have been getting smaller, which is a big plus in my book. I'll gladly buy more clothes if they are smaller clothes. I know my over all wieght has decreased as well. My lifting routine has brough other pleasant results as well. I'm now curling 100lbs; only 4 reps - but that is a vast improvement over where I started (40lbs). I'm benching over 200 lbs with a max near 250lbs. My military press is similar but slightly less due to a messed up shoulder. In general all of my muscle groups have firmed and toned to some degree, I have built endurance and capacity across the board. When I first started going I'd be in pain for a week, and would only work out for about 30 minutes. Now I work out for over an hour, and feel nothing the next day, except for a firmer muscle. I am pleased with the results and hope that they continue. I have no specific goals as far as my personl weight or the amount of weight that I can lift. I want more endurance, I want to be in better shape, to be not winded easily, to be able to lug aroung my share. Most importantly to me though is to be able to buy my clothes anywhere, any time. The biking, the lifting, the swiming, the Tae Kwon Do and the Kung Fu are all helping - I hope that they will continue to do so in thie personal quest I have begun.

In my routine I have time to sort things out, to think things over and to work through tough thoughts, concerns and issues. This time I believe has also made me better in other ways. I'm definitely firmly on a path of self improvement - may the road lead me and those around me to a healthy and happy life.

Life Changes

2005-04-25T09:12:00.000-07:00

As children, we all have those aspirations and dreams of when we grow up. Then we do - grow up that is. Reflecting back on my youth, I never aspired for too much that was outrageous; now that isn't to say that I didn't have the occasional dream of sports idol status, or riches beyond reality, or even war hero, but most of my dreams were fairly normal. As long as I can remember I wanted to be an educator. In college, that is what I studied - and was promptly scared away from it. Education today is boiling over with problems - internal and external. Now I have a unique possibility headed my way. I applied for a posion with in the school system here to combine both my education and my job experience. I really hope to get it, there are many reasons as to why, but at the top is to escape my current level of hell - oops, I mean employment; and to also find out if education really is what I want to do, and if what I learned of it in college is in reality as bad as I have thought it to be.

After you find yourself grown up, sometimes you have to stop that line of though in your head - I want to be when I grow up... Recently, I found myself thinking that. I'm pretty happy about a lot in my life. Sure there could be more money, but for the most part, things are good. I really need to work on the career thing a bit. Until recently, school was the planned avenue of explaoration. But if I get this new job, things will definitely change. School will still be in the picture, but it will be for different reasons. Instead fo finding a new path, I will continue on one that had been abandoned 5 years ago.

I have been busy making much needed changes in my life. Healthier eating, much more exercise, and now career. I hope this shakes out. I know I can do the job, I know that I am made for it. I just hope that they can see that.

Wish me luck - thanks to you all who have helped.

Irresistable Urges

2005-04-19T08:27:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have an irresistable urge to tell someone how it really is, or what you really think? I do, daily - but by some magical means of self preservation or self control, or self something - I don't. I wish that I could set aside one day, live without consequence and do what my urges tell me, and have it all go away by the next day. We have several customers that I would just love to say: "Sut the hell up!" These urges carry beyond work. It isn't that I really want to hurt people, but at the same time, so many people need a wake up call - like: "What the hell were you thinking?". Maybe I need a wake up call too, and if that is the case - so be it.

Last night I was asked which of the following superpowers I would rather have. Flight, Invisibilty, Speed, Strength, or Some form of mental ability like Telepathy or Telekenisis. I chose Invisibility, and was immediately called a sicko. Of course, I understood why right away. It is generally assumed, for some unknown reason, that those who wish to be invisible wish to be so for nefarious reasons - see the movie 'Hollow Man'. I can completely and honestly say, that other than some small degree of curiosity (inate in everyone, especially in us Leo type folks) that I could use that particular power without stooping to nefarious motives. The humor value of that ability alone pays enough, but then there are all the other possibilities out there. I suppose that is does say alot about my personality. Needless to say, I don't think I have anything to worry about. Still, if it were to be possible, I would want it with an on/off switch, I couldn't live that way all the time.

Cooking and Eating

2005-04-18T13:25:00.000-07:00

Those that can live to eat again are potential repeat customers.

YAY! BIKES!

2005-04-18T08:05:00.000-07:00

The wife and I have our new bikes, thanks to the generosity of a friend. We intend do ride them to work, on the nice days at least. The bikes are 2004 model year Giants, with 24 speeds. Push button shifting, and fully adjustable front fork suspension. They are great. I need some tougher compound brake pads (for all the hills around here), and some higher speed bike tires (also for the hills), front and rear lights, and a water bottle - beyond that, I think that we are good.

To sum it up - I'll be riding to work, hopefully at least three days a week. I'll be lifting two to three days a week, I'll swim one day, Tae Kwon Do one day and Kung Fu twice a month. Combine that with new, healthier eating habits - by summers end I think we can all look forward to a healthier, thinner, stronger Raven.

Squiggles on the Keyboard

2005-04-13T09:36:00.000-07:00

( ) These are effin parenthesis.
" " These are effin Quotation Marks.
\ This is an effin Backslash.
/ This is an effin forward slash.
: This is an effin Colon.
; This is an effin Semi-colon.

God I hate our illiterate, inbread, redneck, filthy, 3rd grade flunking, dumb assed, retarded slime users. Christ I had a better grasp of the english language than most of our users do now in the 3rd grade. Damn their dumbshit asses to hell.

Now then, I feel a little better.

Trouble in Indonesia

2005-04-13T06:01:00.000-07:00

Last December, as we all know, the largest earthquake (magnitude 9.3) in recent history was recorded off the coast of Sumatra, Indonesia. The subsequent Tsunami devastated lands and peoples all across the Indian Ocean Basin. Then again, last month (March, 2005) the second largest earthquake (magnitude 8.7) in recent history was recorded, again near Sumatra. Fortunately, this time there would be no Tsunami. Indonesia is one of the most geologically active places in the world. It sits on the intersection of three of the continental tectonic plates. Geological disturbance is again being felt in Sumatra, Indonesia today. Two volcanoes have come to life. There are more than 130 active volcanoes in Indonesia, of these Mount Talang began errupting yesterday, dropping 20 cm of volcanic ash on surrounding communities and villages. Mount Tangkuban Perahu has also begun to awake, with growing frequency in earthquakes. Geologists report that the earthquakes in December and in March have had some degree of resposibility for the current geological disturbances centered around these two volcanoes.

I recently watched a show on the Discovery channel about a possible volcanic erruption senario at Yellowstone National Park. The show described how a large earthquake could geologically unstablize a region, creating further seismic and volcanic disturbances. Suddenly, this seems to be ringing true. The show was about how Yellowstone is actually a super volcano, which has been proven to be true geologically speaking. The emphasis of the show seemed to be more about how a series of seismic and volcanic disturbances in one area of the world could bring about global concerns like climate change, disaster relief, etc...

To sum up my thoughts here, this could just be the begining. Sumatra by its very nature is unstable geologically. Now within the span of a few months we have had three seperate but linked stand up and take notice geological events. Only time will tell how bad this will get. Sumatra has been the cause of other major earth changes in the past. When Toba blew its top, human kind was nearly made extinct. When Krakatoa blew, the explosion was heard thousands of miles away, ash was found the world over, the climate changed by as much as 5-8 degrees, people were able to read late into the night with the reflected light from the ash in the atmosphere.

On a seperate note on the topic. Indonesia is a fairly religious land. Many people belong to some of the more prevalent faiths. There are many islamic and christian peoples in Indonesia. Both the Bible and the Koran include tales of the "end times". One has to wonder what these people are thinking about in these hard times. Do the stories of the end times weigh heavily on their minds, or do they see this as just another erruption or earthquake. Penacolstalism has swept through much of South America, and is making big gains in Asia. If this is true for Indonesia, I can only think about how often the people are being grilled with the "End is Near" sermons and speaches.

My thoughs go out to these people who have been through so much in the past 5 months.

Weather

2005-04-11T05:43:00.000-07:00

They got as much as 2 feet of snow in Colorado between Sunday and today, not in the mountains either - places like Greeley which is about 20 miles from Colorado Springs. That is AWESOME! Although, I'll be they don't think so. :)

Today we are supposed to get thunderstorms, I hope so, it isn't spring without them. I really like thunderstorms, that makes spring my second favorite season.

Food for Thought

2005-04-11T05:15:00.000-07:00

Sometimes life is like being handed an ice cream cone while standing waist deep in shit. I came up with this one day at work, the day was... well - not so good. JH had said something along the lines of: "Well, no one took your stuff today.", and that was my response. It applies to other situations, JH has a coworker now that lost his car in an overnight electrical fire - at least his entire cd collection wasn't in the car.

Another jem that I had was about public education. Public Education is at times like being in a runaway cannoe with out a paddle, but with the knowledge of how to paddle if one had a paddle.

There were others, but they can wait for another day.

A Decent Doctor

2005-04-08T05:59:00.000-07:00

Well I went to the doc on my second trip to get this illness figured out. The doctors is personable and friendly, he seemed very rushed however. He did figure it out though, I have a fairly bad sinus infection. I have more powerful medicine to get rid of the infection as well as some nasal spray to reduce inflamation. They took X-Rays of my head, and even my untrained eyes could find the grossly inflamed sinuses. So, hopefully I am on the road to a full and long term recovery.

Beyond that - I really enjoyed not working with the Tweedles one day this week. It was quiet, and nice. The tweedles for those of you not in the know are two of the laziest, worthless and incompetent individuals on the planet (well, here at work at least) - Refered to unanimously as Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Worthless (the Tweedles for short). I don't much like either of them at this point, and look forward to the day where I don't have to work with either. I hope that this respite comes to us all here soon. The newest Support Tech on our Staff is already surpassing the Tweedles. It is nice to actually have a computer guy in a computer job. Although, Tweedle Worthless is going to Clark for a CS degree - God I have to hope to high Heaven that he flunks out.

I saw part of the movie "8 Mile" last night and was pleasantly surprised. I wasn't half as retarded as I though it would be. I might even venture to say it was fair to decent (and that is pretty good since it isn't anywhere close to my cup of tea). It was on VH1, so it was bleeped all to hell, and I'm shure content was cut from it to clean it up. But what I saw wasn't too bad, I might actually see the whole thing some time.

My wife is a sore looser. She wanted to play Chess last night, so we did. She has told me before to not let her win - that makes her "really pissed off". So I decided to teach her how I had been taught. A tough game followed by an easier game. In the tough game I had her in check in the third move, but not mate, although when the game was finished she was mated with only two pawns left and I had her in check about half of the time. In the second game, I played easier, but not to let her win. I gave her openings, and played way less agressively. In both games I tried to show her a variety of moves, and two standard starts. This was to no end though, she still got pissed off. She and her brother are far too competitive. I have no idea as to how I'm supposed to teach her a game. She doesn't want me to let her win. She doesn't want me to give her too much advice, she doesn't like to loose (at all, ever, really).... so I'm at a loss. Oh well.

Nightly News and World Report

2005-04-07T05:45:00.000-07:00

Iraq elected a Kurd to the Presidency. Congrats Iraq on your democratic election. I think that it is funny that we showed the election to Saddam Hussein and his cronies that we have in jail. That has to really chap his ass though, the kurds are who he decided to test Mustard gas on. They didn't much care for the guy, so for them I feel really happy. Not only do the Kurdish people have their enemy and mass murderer in jail, but they also have a leader in the highest seat in their land now. Justice for them has not been swift, but I imagine that is sweet.

Millions have gone to see or are going to see the Pope. It is amazing to me in so many ways. Vatacan City and Rome are struggling with the overwhelming crowds. Pope John Paul II, rest in Peace. In his last days hundreds of millions prayed for him, some not even of his religion; most notably - a group of Muslims in France. He was a figure to be reconed with in his day, and will be remembered. The next leader of the Church has some shoes to fill.

Peter Jennings has lung cancer. He is going to fight it, and is starting Chemo therapy soon. Since I was very young I have watched his news cast whenever I could. He is a good man, and I wish him all the luck with such a despirate fight - lung cancer is one of the deadliest forms of cancers you can get. I pray for your health, and hope to see you better and in the anchor chair again.

In other news - I go to the doctor today. My illness has seemed to have leveled off for the time being. I hope I can get over it soon. I hope the doctor I am visiting today is a good one. I'm tired of being ill.

Modern Medicine

2005-04-06T05:01:00.000-07:00

About two weeks ago my wife took me to convenient care at Finley hospital. I had a severly sore throat, fever, chills, body ache, etc.... At this time, the physician perscribed Amoxicillin. Now I happen to know a little about the medical community, and one thing that I do know is: many physicians will perscribe Amoxicillin to "cure" an unknown bug/illness. So what is the big deal - well I think that I'm getting sick again, with the same symptoms as before. Now I took my whole perscription, and did so on time with few and little exception. The idea that this bug may be returning annoys me. First that the physician didn't take time and enough stock of the situation to determine if this was the correct course of action; second, that if it was correct that I was not perscribed a long enough dose to kill the bug completely; and lastly, that if it was or was not the right way to go, what I have now may be antibiotic resistant! I'm really torn on the whole modern medicine thing in a lot of ways to bigin with - this just happens to be one of them, and is really upsetting. When going to a physician, no matter who that physician is, you expect and deserve the highest level of care. This physician had fair bed side manner, but spent less than five minutes with me. Her assistant also spent less than five minutes with me. In being there for over an hour, I saw actual health proffessional for only about ten minutes. This may be the norm, however it seemed quick on a Thursday evening - 7:30. I know that it has taken me longer to diagnose a problem on a computer than five minutes, and that may not be a fair or equal comparrison, however - when left with the return of illness, and the possibility that this illness may be resistant to other medicines now because of the improper direction of a physician troubles me.

**UPDATE**
Well, whatever it is that I have has returned. The full set of symptoms have returned, and are growing in intensity with the passing hours. So, I'm making an appointment to see what will hopefully become my "regular" doctor. 'Hopefully' - if he is any good, and has a decent bedside manner he will be, otherwise he will not be. Also, I hope that he can figure out what is going on, and give me a solution. For me, a solution does not have to mean antibiotics, anything that resolves this illness that has been hanging on to me will work. I just want it done.

Post Numero Uno!

2005-04-05T07:01:00.000-07:00

A good friend on mine has had a blogspot for a year or so. In that time, he has used his blogspot for a good many things. He has used it as a sounding board for his ideas, as a place to vent his feelings (good and bad feelings), and as a place to work through some tough times that life has thrown his way. He has shared with us his inner self and has given voice to inner thoughts, while also allowing us to reflect and share comment on those thoughts and feelings.

In this time my friend has been able to begin to "find" and understand himself more fully. The path has not been easy, nor without it's ups and downs. Through it all he has shown us the strength of his character. In this journey he is on he has reflected on himself, defined himself, and shared himself with us all; and in doing so he has reached out to us, inspired us, and made us feel for him during the tough times. Through sharing with us, he has bettered himself as well as those who share with him.

We are blessed in this day and age with modern conveniences - technologies that extend beyond pen and paper. We have the ability to share our selves with others, to log our experiences, and to have others share with us their experiences. We have that very ability to reach out, and to travel through this existance with companions along the same journey. I have learned much of my friend, of this that I have learned I take to heart two lessons with special exception. First, it is important to know one's self - and that recording and reflecting upon the processes of life one can find what one is looking for; and second, that it is of great import to reach out and truely be there, to listen, to be what is needed in the moment.

As my friend has, so shall I. I will record and reflect to better myself, to "find" and understand myself, to share myslef, and to reach out. I too will work to be a better friend, to listen, to be patient, to be "there". I will use this forum to do this and more.

I would be remiss, if at this time I did not express my thanks for these lessons learned. It is never too late to change, especially if it is for the better.

To you my friend, thank you Bill.